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2010-11-01T21:08:00.001+08:00

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Getting Back a Sense of Proportion

2010-10-24T21:36:00.009+08:00

"If music means a lot to me, so do stars, and I missed them desperately in the city, where the street lights and neon signs take away from the stars so that only the most brilliant ones are visible. If I'm confused, or upset, or angry, if I can go out and look at the stars I'll almost always get back a sense of proportion. It's not that they make me feel insignificant, it's the very opposite, they make me feel that everything matters, be it ever so small, and that there's meaning to life even when it seems most meaningless."
- Madeleine L'Engle
A Ring of Endless Light

A sigh-inspiring little tidbit that I loved while reading A Ring of Endless Light this weekend.

I just got back from Palawan. There were moments when I was surrounded by the things that help me breathe... the things that make remember. Stars. Flowers. Trees. Rocks. Grass. Flowing water. Blue skies. Passionate people. But for some reason, I didn't feel like I soaked it all in... that I breathed it all in deeply -- not really anyway.

Music. Stars.
Getting back a sense of proportion.
It's what I need.

Thankful for a non-working holiday tomorrow.
Hope to go and do just that.

Oops there goes another rubber tree plant!

2010-10-21T15:09:00.008+08:00

Everyday a gazillion (yes, a gazillion!!!) cars, motorbikes, tricycles, and trucks pass me as I make my 10-minute walk to the office. I have never really thought about how the tires are made that move our vehicles. Or where the materials come from. I remember singing a song as a kid "Oops there goes another rubber tree plant..." but I didn't realize that rubber really came from plants.

This past week I got to go back to Palawan, Philippines and visited a farm where some of the farm's first rubber tree seedlings are being planted. A farm where hopefully in about 5-6 years, rubber tree plants will be growing tall, strong and producing well on the vast land.

No, I don't care too much about more tires being made or more latex being available ... but I care about the people of Palawan and the dreams they have.

A group of church pastors in Palawan have a passion for God and for their people. They desire to see the people of Palawan loving and following Christ and in that, fulfilling His call to "go and make disciples..."

Together they have committed to seeing 34 missionaries sent out from their own community. All of these pastors recognize that a lack of financial resources will likely be a big challenge for someone pursuing missions. These pastors don't believe that should be the case.

And so, they are doing something about it. Churches of different sizes, styles, denominations and backgrounds have come together and purchased land. On it they will grow rubber trees. The profits from the harvests of this farm are dedicated to financially supporting their missionaries.

It was a beautiful moment standing on the top of the mountain and looking out onto the land that has been reserved for this purpose. Throughout the whole mountainside there are bamboo sticks marking the spots where the seedlings will be planted.

These seedlings will grow year after year. And in time, in place of the bamboo markers, there will be tall rubber trees ready to be tapped for latex and serve its purpose for these people. In the same way, God will continue to grow the hearts of His people in Palawan for missions and they will serve their purpose for Him. They will be a blessing to who knows how many, and where -- but through them He will be glorified!

How awesome it is to see the Church have a vision, be willing to dream big... and commit to seeing it happen.

So, when you see that car tire, as you use your pencil top eraser, as you fling that rubber band across the room... remember the rubber trees be planted on that mountain in the Philippines. Think about the missions heart that is pumping in Palawan... and pray.

Pray for the team of young farmers who labor with a deep love for God and with a strong sense of purpose. For their safety, health and encouragement.
Pray for the pastors as they lead their churches and desire to cultivate a missions heart in their people.
Pray that God would continue to build unity among the churches. It is inspiringly beautiful to see the unity across denominations.
Pray for the young people of Palawan... that they would see that they have indeed been blessed to be a blessing and will live that truth out.
Pray that God will continue to stir the hearts of His people in Palawan, give them wisdom, inspire their vision and remind them of His provision.

Catch Up

2010-08-19T14:58:00.003+08:00

It's been weeks now since I last blogged... and I can't remember what's happened during that time?!

I turned 34.

Last Friday was my birthday. It felt like I celebrated for weeks thanks to fun, thoughtful friends. It was a fun birthday filled with so many blessings. Sweet words of love and encouragement. A fun party. 2 delicious cakes. Fazoli's. Movie. Laughter. Friends. Lots of surprises.

Church.

Okay. After a year and a half I've finally decided on a church to regularly attend. This was really, really hard for me. There's a great church that I had visited a few times. It's a smaller church so there was an incredibly warm and welcoming feeling whenever I would go there. They have awesome worship music. And they have a WONDERFUL ministry for youth. They have a great vision for young leaders and live it out consistently. Unfortunately, I found it difficult to be consistent and commit to being there in the midst of travel. And, while I can understand Tagalog, I found it difficult to really, really focus and really learn during sermons. So, I decided that (for now at least) I'll plug into the church I started attending when I first arrived in Manila. The teaching is GREAT and it's in English. And, I think I'm in most need of that right now.

Dry Spell

I returned from my last trip on June 18th. I haven't travelled anywhere since then. Boy, I've missed it. I've enjoyed being home and having some "routine" in my life. But, at the same time it's been hard! I've missed working face-to-face with colleagues. I've missed the fun of being in new places and meeting new people. To be honest, I've struggled with staying motivated and focused sitting at my desk day-to-day. Who knew that I'd miss the hectic travel so much?!?!

The Dry Spell is Over!!!

Finally! Just last week I was given the opportunity to visit a part of the Philippines that I've been hearing about for years. PALAWAN.

When most people hear "Palawan," they think of its beautiful beaches, pearls and its paradise-like getaways.

When I hear "Palawan," I think of April 1998. During that month there was a celebration of the Kagayanen New Testament. MY plans were to move to Manila and join the Monsoon team then and help them document the grand events. Well, plans change. God's ways are beyond ours. And for that I am thankful. I am thankful for 2008-2009, the lessons I learned then, and how God has and continues to use that time for HIS GOOD.

And, I am so thankful that now I have the chance to visit this place and see what is happening among the churches there.

Not Alone!

This trip to Palawan is a work trip. BUT, it still should be fun! It feels like I rarely get to travel WITH colleagues. I will be traveling to Palawan with colleagues who work with Monsoon and Sa Bawat Wika. Yay!!! Looking forward to traveling and working with others!!

BY THE WAY: We'll be there for their first mission conference -- "Go Glocal: Empowering Palawan Christians to Become Globally Minded and Locally Active!!!!"

DECISION TIME

OH... and I'll be in Manila for at least another year. Yup. I committed to continue working with Monsoon at least until February 2012. I'll blog more about that later.

And... I guess that's about it...can't remember anything else.

Must be the aging thing.

Hahah!

The "I" in Me...

2010-08-09T15:37:00.005+08:00

...worked overtime last week! Heheheh.

Our team had a week-long meeting last week.

From Monday - Friday, pretty much 8:30 AM - 5:00 PM we met together.

And, we had lunches and dinners together as well.

I was glad for it -- even if my "introvertedness" was getting a major workout.

Our entire team hasn't been together in months. Even those of us who work in the Manila office haven't met together as a team in a long time. So, it was a good week of being together. Teammates from AUS, PNG, HK, USA, and MNL were here. We also welcomed an intern from Germany who will be working with us for the next 6 months.

We shared about what we each of us are working on, we talked about some of the challenges we're facing, we talked about the future, we ate together, we played bingo bowling together and we talked to God together. It was a good week.

I'm thankful that I get to be a part of this team.

And thankful for each one on it.

What a GREAT Date!!!

2010-07-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

Went out for a date today and was treated sooo wonderfully!!!
Treated with delicious food, beautiful scenery, wonderful company, flowers, and... A RING!

Okay, okay...I know, no fooling you all!

So, today I went out today with some of Monsoon's Vision Trip 2010 participants.
We ventured out to Tagaytay, took a boat out to Taal Volcano, and walked up to the ridge.
It was a beautiful (although HOT!) day.
Our trek led us to the top where we enjoyed the view of the lake inside the volcano, inside the lake. It was beautiful and totally worth the journey.

All throughout the day there were these sweet, sweet gifts from God. Beautiful little flowers along the hiking trail. Sweet little bird songs. Laughter. Good music. Shady tree spots perfect for taking a breather. A spring of cool, refreshing water along the road (for our overheated car!) Great company. Good food. A ride in a super, good-looking car. :)

And... the thing that totally just blew me away -- THE RING!!!
While we were in the boat on the way out to the volcano I was just so overwhelmed with gratitude for that moment. I was so thankful for the chance to be with the group, to be sitting outside in the fresh air,to be out in the water, seeing such beauty and to be there with clear blue skies and smatterings of white clouds.
And then I saw it... a rainbow! I smiled. And then I realized... it was a rainbow ring around the sun!!! I had never seen that before and it just totally blew me away. I was giddy over it!

All day today it just felt like God was wooing me in His very special ways. Things that touch my heart and make me smile, He kept putting before me over and over again. I loved it. I feel so loved... and loved so well.

(Okay... so now I know thanks to Google that the rainbow around the sun is a halo! The picture I took does not even come CLOSE to capturing how beautiful it was. We had a great photographer out with us today. Hopefully I'll get a copy of the photos she took to share with you here! )

Sick.

2010-07-24T19:48:00.002+08:00

I haven't been out of my apartment since I returned from work on Tuesday night.
I've been home -- sick.

I had intended to get a lot done this week. I actually planned to have some really productive days working from home. But instead, I mostly just found myself having to lie down and rest.

Cold? Flu? Allergies? Not sure... I Googled it to see if I could tell the difference but I couldn't really. All I know is that I came home on Tuesday with the start of a sore throat, woke up with no voice, have had terrible congestion/sinus pressure all week long, my whole head hurt -- including my jaw, felt feverish (although I never had a fever), and achy all over. Thankfully it's going away.

Yesterday and today were the only days I was able to get work done. It was a frustrating week. It felt like the week was just sucked away from me. Nothing was done. Nothing was accomplished. It just kind of drifted away...

I found that I never really rested because I had my plans and I wanted to follow through on them. But I couldn't follow through on my plans because I just really need to rest. Bleh.

Recently, a couple of leaders in the area had been sick to the point that they were on bed rest for a long while. I think I have heard both of them on different occasions comment on how they have been blessed during their time of bed rest. They both said something along the lines of how it has given them time to just be with the Lord -- meditate on His Word, be in prayer, worship, etc. I think if they were to comment on this time, they would say that it has been GOOD for them.

I remember when I heard that I thought, "Wow! That's great!" After this week, I think even more so -- "WOW!"

Oh, to have that heart, mind and discipline to truly "be still" before the Lord and just be CONTENT to be in His presence. Even if I do nothing else...accomplish nothing else...add nothing else, but to just be wholly content and satisfied to just be with Him.
I feel like I have had moments and times like that ... but oh that I would have a greater desire for that, and see that be even more true in my life.

NOTE: I am feeling better. And tomorrow I'll venture out. Whew. About time!!

Casting Vision

2010-07-19T16:26:00.004+08:00

Photographers.

Writers.

Designers.

Videographers.

A group of about 10 media professionals from the Philippines and the Americas heading to a neighboring country here in Southeast Asia. The first Monsoon trip of its kind -- Vision Trip 2010.

One of the things that really energizes me about my work is the thought that through it, people would have the opportunity to get a glimpse of how God is at work in the world. And hopefully, get a vision for how they uniquely may take part in it.

I love seeing the look of excitement in people's eyes as the wheels start turning in their mind as they think about the possibilities of how they could be part of the exciting work of God. I love seeing them start to catch the vision of how who they are can contribute to the bigger picture. I love it when people can start to see how they can be themselves and through their gifts, their skills, their experience, and their passions, be an important part of the work of missions.

And so, I'm excited that this week a group of media professionals will actually experience this for themselves. Tomorrow they will travel to the country of one of our partner organizations and will work together with them on specific media needs that they have.

They'll capture images. They'll record interviews. They'll write up stories. They'll get the chance to see how their work truly does have value in the world of missions.

So, please pray for them. Pray for them as they get to know each other and work with each other. Pray for God to use them mightily this week and that they experience joy and delight in their service. Pray that their hearts and minds would be open to the things the Lord would have them learn and be challenged by each day during this trip. Pray too that as a result of this trip they would be advocates for media in missions.

Yes, I'm super excited for this group.

And yes, I'll admit it...I'm a little bit jealous that I'll not be with them.

I'll be stuck here in the office. Hehehehe!!!

Alone.

2010-07-18T22:15:00.002+08:00

One night last week as I was drifting off to sleep, I found myself crying.

Not only were there tears running down my face, but there were audible sobs as well. That kind of crying.

I was kind of surprised by it. There wasn't really anything significant that happened that day to make me upset. So I found myself crying and asking, "Why am I sad? What am I upset about?"

And in my sobs I heard myself answer my own question...

"You've left me here all alone. It's not supposed to be like this. I'm alone. I'm forgotten."

Those are the feelings and thoughts that had me up and crying one night. I thought about the different things that had me feeling that way and was exhausted in the morning. I opened up my Bible to the reading for the day and was comforted and convicted by this...

My Lord longs to be gracious to me.

He rises to show me compassion.

I am blessed if I wait for Him.

He will be gracious when I cry for help.

He guides.

He goes before me.

He goes with me.

He provides.

He binds and He heals.

I am precious.

I am honored.

I am His.

He has made me.

He has redeemed me.

He will not forget me.

There are a lot of reasons for why I was feeling the way that I was.

Some very real.

Some very legitimate.

Some not... at all.

I recognize that feelings of being completely ALONE and FORGOTTEN are one of the Enemy's "easy" ways of getting me down. Those are fiery arrows that hit me hardest and the ones I'm most vulnerable to, especially these days.

And so with the sweetest of blessings I have been reminded that I am never alone and never forgotten. His presence tells me that. His Word reassures me of that. And others are an expression of that -- a surprise email, a conversation over Skype, an expectant "how are you?"

I wasn't going to blog about this, but then during church at Northland this morning (evening for me), Pastor Vernon shared a quote of Frederick Buechner. As he shared it, I had already started to Google it so I that I could share it.

"When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am in who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.
"For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it's your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way. If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget me, part of who I am will be gone.
"Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom," the good thief said from his cross (Luke 23:42). There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well."

- Frederick Buechner
Listening to Your Life

So I hadn't really planned on blogging about my emotional breakdown, but when I heard this quote, it made me realize how, as Buechner puts it, "There are perhaps no more human words in all Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well." I think the feelings of wanting to be "remembered" -- to not be alone and to not be forgotten -- are so very real, so very human.

To some extent, we all go through these feelings. (Right??)

And so right now, I'm reminded to pray for my friends - those who are in a different place, who are away from people who know and understand them, who are "alone..." and for those who just feel "alone" and "forgotten" -- praying that in special ways this week you would feel loved, remembered, and reminded that you truly are never alone.

And for me, a reminder to "be on the alert." Oh, how it seems that the Enemy knows me too well. And so, ... Be on the alert. Wait on Him. Cry out to Him. Remember. Return.

NOTE: I really need to pick up a book by FB or something, because whenever Pastor Vernon shares a quote of his (which he often does) I am so drawn to his thoughts and the ways he puts words together to convey them. It's always just so well said! Suggestions??

Tears.

2010-07-18T21:56:00.001+08:00

"You never know what may cause them. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you've never seen before. A pair of somebody's old shoes can do it. ... You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next."

- Frederick Buechner

Beyond Words

(Found this quote online while looking for another quote. Will blog more about it, but just wanted to share this right now.)

Power's Out

2010-07-14T19:31:00.001+08:00

So something I learned tonight that I didn't know last night... The power generator for the building powers one of the outlets in my bedroom. It's the one where the bedroom light is plugged in.

Check out my blog from earlier today to see why I find that so funny. Hehehe! :)

Right now I'm sitting in my room with the lights and my internet on thanks to three extension cords :) probably a fire hazard so i will get off soon. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My First Typhoon

2010-07-14T09:27:00.004+08:00

Yeah... so the storm was noisy, loud and strong.

It woke me up and kept me up.

Here's how things looked when I got up and went to work in the morning.

Not too bad. It sounded so much worse than this!

July 14, 2010 - Typhoon Basyang

HOLIDAYS!!

2010-06-30T09:44:00.003+08:00

At home today.

Non-working holiday here in the Philippines.

Inauguration Day!

So, on the agenda today is...

sleep in (which I did :) ).
continue my search for a solution to import my Outlook emails into either Mac Mail or Entourage. URGH!
work on a few documents for work that I want to finish and get emailed out today.
and...watch the activities throughout the day as the new President of the Philippines, Benigno "Noynoy" S. Aquino III, takes office today.

I've been thinking about Inauguration Day in the States.

The only one I really remember watching was the latest one for President Obama.

I remember watching the activities of that historic day while packing to move here to Manila.

And now here I am!

I'm in Manila, watching the inauguration of the 15th President of the Philippines.

Apparently, you can watch the same thing I'm watching too. The channel I watch is streaming their broadcast throughout today.

By the way... Friday is a non-working holiday for our office too... Pasig Day!

Welcome back!

2010-06-28T22:35:00.006+08:00

Welcome back...

mornings stirred awake by the sound of strong rains.
mornings waiting ... waiting ... waiting for a break to quick rush it over to the office.
being sooo close to the office doors thinking I've made it ... just when the skies open up and dump wet all over me.
laughing and smiling at the hallway decor of umbrellas left open to dry out.
shivering cold in the office thinking -- oh, I really should leave a change of clothes here.
clothes drying out just in time for the afternoon downpour -- also known as ... the walk home.
slipping and sliding because I really should get better flip flops to wear in the rain.
uselessly holding an umbrella because the rains fly sideways at every which angle. No matter what I'm wet.
knowing this and yet still buying an umbrella at the closest store because I forgot mine ... at home, in the office, in the taxi...
having to laugh at myself when inevitably my umbrella flips out and almost takes me with it.
beautiful, powerful storms -- skies electric and sounds rhythmic and rumbling.
cool, breezy nights.
gorgeous after-storm skies.

Today was the first REAL rainy season day that I've seen this year.
It was glorious!
It was beautiful and breezy. The lightning was bright and brilliant. The thunder was roaring.
I watched as it moved across the city -- the sky was cleared up in front of me and just down a ways, the storm raged on.

It was beautifully romantic.

Likely I felt this way because I worked from home today (nursing what was lingering of some ear pains).
I watched it from my 16th floor unit with the windows open, breezes playing my wind chimes and the storm being accompanied by my iPod playing a mix of classical songs.

Perhaps it was best way to spend my first rainy season day of the year.
Now as I walk to work with soggy pants, I can think back to this day and find the beauty in the season.

CHECK.DONE!

2010-06-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

Finally. After almost a year and a half I accomplished a goal I had set for myself.
DRIVE IN MANILA.

I set the goal when I first arrived for it to happen sometime within my first few months.
That became my first 6 months.
Which became before Christmas.
Which then became before my parents' visit (March).
Which then became before my birthday.

FINALLY! A goal met.
(Does it count when it was postponed so many times??)

Last week I got this email from one of my friends in the office...

Subject: pst What are you doing after work? How would you feel about getting your first driving experience in Manila? I don't know about you but I'm in desperate need of a run to the grocery store. Would love the company. :) Let me know!

Well, it just so happens the night before I was thinking about how long I could survive with what I had in my cabinets and how much I wanted to order out in the week. So, in my mind I had made plans -- this was going to be the time that I would take the BIG STEP and actually borrow the office car to go grocery shopping.

Well how great was it to get that email the very next day?? I'm not really one who is motivated by "I dare you!" challenges. But, nudges and encouragements from people who want to help you succeed in reaching goals and want to help you to be willing to take steps forward -- that motivates me.

And so, I checked out the car. After work I unlocked the car, welcomed my two brave passengers and drove a whole SEVEN KILOMETERS round trip. Yeah... I know... the odometer hardly turned. It shouldn't even count.

But... IT DOES!
CHECK. DONE!

A goal was set. I had someone who helped motivate me. I had friends cheer me on.
And now I'm not as intimidated by the thought of driving in Manila anymore.

Now parking... that's a whole other story!!! (Really...hahaha!)

Sweet Surprises

2010-06-26T22:12:00.004+08:00

This week there were some sweet surprises...

Finished
Okay, I confess. I haven't been following the World Cup. I do know that it's been going on. As a matter of fact, I've been collecting the glasses. Yup! McDonald's has a collector's set of World Cup glasses.
While I was gone last week I had wondered if the promo would still be happening when I returned. When we lunched at McDonald's one afternoon I was able to get the rest of the glasses that I needed to complete the set with the purchase of just ONE meal. Yay! I was relieved because that was the 3rd day in a row that I ordered from the golden arches. Whew!

Driving Day
On my list of things I wanted to do before my birthday.
DRIVE IN MANILA.
Check. Done.
One day this week one of my friends at work asked if I'd be interested in going grocery shopping after work -- and if I might want to check out the company car AND drive us. Well, I had actually had that very thing in mind to do. So, her initiating was the push to actually do it. After work I took out the Crosswind for the very first time. It was fun to be driving again. And even nicer to have my very own cheering section while doing it.

Guarded
The night I went out driving I had a few challenges in parking lots -- getting out of parking lots, a car alarm that wouldn't shut off, and a trunk full of BOXED groceries (Wednesdays the grocery store tries to do its part for the environment and doesn't bag using plastic bags). With each challenge security guards came to the rescue. All night long the guards displayed incredible amounts of patience, grace and generous helpfulness. Sooo wonderful!

Musical Theater
I miss going to plays and other live art performances. One evening this week (Tuesday) I was at home searching online for local performances of anything. I really wanted to go see something. Came up with nothing.
The very next day out of the blue a friend at work said, "Did you know that they're showing Legally Blonde at the Meralco Theater?" The next night she told me she was able to get my name on a list for the show. What I didn't know was that it was opening night so it was an energy-filled night (And the leading actress's celebrity boyfriend was sitting just a row behind us in the next section!) The whole evening was fun and a huge blessing. I couldn't believe the timing of it all. It was a sweet, sweet, sweet surprise!

Dr. Generous
I woke up on Wednesday with an earache. Thursday (Legally Blonde night) it was fine - gone. Friday it hurt worse than it had on Wednesday. So, I decided to go to the clinic. The first sweet surprise was that I was first in line to see the ENT doctor. So my wait was a total of 30 minutes -- and that's because I arrived 30 minutes before the doctors do. Whoa! That never happens!!! He checked me out and said everything looked okay -- my ears were very irritated, but he didn't see any infection. He wanted me to take drops to reduce the swelling and prevent any possible infection. He wrote up the prescription, went to a cabinet and pulled out a box. "Here, so you don't have to spend money on the prescription. This should be enough for the 5 days."

WOW! Nice. I wasn't expecting that AT ALL.

2 for 100 pesos
Picked up this VCD in the 2 for 100 pesos pile at the video store in the mall.
I hadn't heard of it before. But, reading the blurb on the back I thought it would be worth the 50 pesos.
It was definitely worth it. I would be willing to pay more for it.
Great movie.

One last one...

Chunky Choco Mocha
I went in to the Mini Stop to pick up some snacks for the guards who helped me out at the parking lot at my place. Walking by the freezer case I saw this LIMITED EDITION ice cream flavor. Hopefully it is not TOO limited, it is YUMMY!!!!

Chocolate layers. Chocolate chips. Crushed cashews. Peanuts. Mocha ice cream.

Face to Face

2010-06-19T21:30:00.003+08:00

Email.
Skype.
YouSendIt.
Intranet.
Dropbox.

There are so many things available to us that makes our virtual workplace -- work.
And for the most part, it works pretty well.
When we use these tools we have the ability to close the gaps of geographical space, time zones, and financial restrictions.

BUT, there is still GREAT value in having face-to-face time.

I just got back this afternoon from spending 4 days with colleagues in South Asia.
This team wants to develop a website and get it live soon.
My co-worker, Oliver, and our friend, Sam, got to sit side-by-side for about 4 days learning Drupal (software for building a content managed based website). They got to ask each other questions, search around the web together for solutions, and work on things until they figured it out.

I think the 4 days helped to build this new working relationship between these two men and I HOPE that it will help Sam to jump start the work he'll be doing in the next couple of months to get the site built and up live.

One of the men who had planned to join us was sick so we didn't have as much time to spend with him as I had originally thought. But during the time we did have together, we got to talk about the content that would be needed for the site, we worked on a plan for getting that content done, and we talked about other communication needs that were still remaining.

Face to face.

Yes, we could have gone through these things virtually. And actually, we have been doing that -- over email. But even in the limited time we did end up having together, we were able to talk through things more thoroughly. I got to hear the questions that he had. I feel like I got to hear and understand some of the challenges they face better than I have heard and understood.

Face to face.

And being face to face I'm reminded too of their hearts for God. I'm reminded of their incredible, hard work ethic and commitment. I'm reminded of their passion for their country and their people. I'm reminded of how great their desire is for their work to be known by more people -- not for their own sake, but for His.

Face to face.

It's easy when you have a long to-do-list to put things that feel faraway at the bottom. Seeing them in person and seeing their vision being pursued... in a way it's like it re-kindles and reminds me of our commitment to them. No, the face to face isn't always necessary. It's not even possible or reasonable at times.
But it sure is great to be face to face with my brothers and sisters once in a while.

So come Monday, I have some things to follow up on. Hoping that the momentum that's been built in our 4 days together will last a while.

Day Two

2010-06-16T21:00:00.002+08:00

End of Day Two of Four.

My co-worker, Oliver, and I are here in South Asia working with colleagues on their web development. Oliver’s training one of their IT guys on how to use Drupal to build their site.
Mostly I’ve just been watching, listening in and working on my own stuff while they work on theirs.

Basically I’m here to give input when it comes to website flow and content development. Not much of that has been happening so far. They’ve been having too much fun conquering techy challenges.

Tomorrow another colleague, who's been sick, will be able to join us. The two of us will likely sit and talk specifically about these two areas while they continue conquering the world of Drupal.

I’ve been keeping myself plenty busy. I’ve been continuing to work on some ideas regarding their web content. I’ve been working on some email (fun… emailing offline and then doing quick send/receives when I can steal the USB network stick from one of them to connect) and taking care of some other work responsibilities.

These meetings haven’t been too much. They're not like other meetings when I have been constantly “on” – mentally and physically. And yesterday (unlike most times when I’m gone for meetings) we went out and actually got to see some of the city (we went on a boat tour!)

So, this week’s meetings don’t feel as demanding as others, but for some reason --- today I’m so tired!
I’m just exhausted. Physically mostly. I’ve been sleeping okay – except for last night when I had to get up at 2:30 AM to reapply “OFF” as I was being attacked by mosquitoes.

Maybe it’s not so much this week but more the culmination of the last couple of weeks when I had been “on” physically and mentally. I’ve learned that as a high introvert, meetings that I help to lead tend to extremely wear me out. So, maybe it’s that -- who knows?

Anyway, (especially as we’ll start getting more into content and other “non-techy” stuff tomorrow, :)) I’m praying for more physical and mental energy so that I would do my job with excellence and serve my colleagues well. Would appreciate your prayers as well!

Day One

2010-06-15T22:41:00.001+08:00

Back in South Asia. This time I'm visiting a different city...a different state.

It’s been a good day. I traveled here with a colleague from Manila. We arrived in the country about 11 or so last night. It was a pretty uneventful journey. Nice.

There was no movie on the 4 hour flight from Singapore here. That was a bit disappointing. Thankfully I was sleepy AND I had a fun book with me. Unfortunately, I finished it on the plane and now I have no fun reading with me. (Okay, I do have a "Long Obedience in the Same Direction" with me – but I’m in need of some mindless reading.)

We arrived at the "Y" by 12:30 AM so I was able to get a good night's rest before we started things off today.

Our first day of work was filled with lots of techy talk and great food.
After we finished work for the day we took an auto-rickshaw (the local version of the tricycle, tuk-tuk...) to the shoreline. We took a nice walk and had a fun boat tour. We saw the big industry boats, local fishermen, and the tourists' palaces and yacht clubs. It was cool, overcast and at times a bit drizzly. It made for a nice end of our first day working together this week.

Enjoying being back here...

Continuing to learn...

2010-06-10T23:56:00.003+08:00

Last night... 1:30 AM
I was up late... again.
Working on taxes ... again.

But this time was different.
I had finally gotten to the point where I was desperately in need of HELP.
So, I was up in the middle of the night preparing all the materials to send to a colleague in Dallas who agreed to work on my taxes.

While I was up at 1:30 AM working on tax preparation stuff, colleagues who are serving in different places around the world were gathering in Orlando, FL for the organization's tri-annual conference.

The folks in Orlando are streaming live some of the segments of the conference.
So, from Manila (at 1:30 AM!!) I got to join in on a bit of this year's conference.

One of Orlando's local pastors, Pastor Isaac Hunter, shared the first day's message.
His message was incredible. There was so much in his message that I wanted to jot down. Among the many things that really struck me, he said...

"Ask for help frequently, and WAY before you need it."
He then gave a personal (hilarious!) example of when he failed to do just that. He reflected on the incident,
"Why did I not ask for help? It's flat out pride."

So I found it ironic. There I was listening to this wise pastor (who by the way... reminds me much of his dad , my pastor at Northland -- Pastor Joel Hunter) while furiously trying to gather up documents to send to someone on the other side of the world to rush to avoid missing the already extended tax deadline.

"Ask for help FREQUENTLY, and WAY BEFORE you need it."
How do I get myself in situations like this???
"It's flat out pride."

How often do I not want to risk looking incompetent, incapable, inexperience, under-qualified, stupid...
and so I waste time and energy trying to do on my own what can be done so much more effectively and efficiently by or with someone else -- if I would just be willing to ask for the help I need.

Or how often I struggle alone, out of fear of someone else knowing that I don't have it all together.
Like that's a shocker! And so for nothing, I continue to struggle. And I continue to go through it alone.

"Ask for help frequently." "Way before you need it."

Pride -- URGH. I want to not care about my pride. I want to care so much more about my relationship with God that I could care less about what people think about me and be willing to ask for help way before I even think I need it -- to keep my relationship with Him right. I want to care so much more about serving others well and others being served well that I'm quick to ask for help -- regardless of how it makes me look.

In my relationship with God and in my relationships with others ... I don't want to look at reaching out for help as a bad thing or a last resort.

Rid me of my prideful attitude, Lord that keeps me from being willing to admit when I'm in need.

Continuing to learn ... and desiring growth and change from the learning.

There was a lot in his message that struck me. Hope to find a video or recording of it so I can listen to it again -- next time I won't be doing taxes while listening!

(Oh and yes... Mr. Taxman. Less than 24 hours and he's already done. And, he got me more than I would have if I had proceeded to file what I worked on online).

[Side Note: Every 3 years our organization has a conference bringing in delegates from around the world.

I LOVE THIS CONFERENCE!

During my time in Orlando, God used the 2 conferences I was able to sit in on (because of my role in the communications department) to inspire and motivate me to be willing to GO! - wherever He might ask me to go and to serve in whatever ways He might want me to serve.

I loved hearing the reports, I loved listening to the things that people seemed to care deeply about, I loved meeting people who are committed and care about how our organization contributes to change worldwide, I loved hearing what issues seemed to rise to the top and how people responded to it, I loved thinking about the potential ways that God would use the conversations, the worship, the people there, to initiate changes in thinking or direction of our organization. Inspiring. Motivating. Plus it was always an adrenaline-charged, team-building time for our comm crew -- running mics, operating cameras, working the switcher, pulling out long days -- sooo fun!!!

And so, a late night to watch some of the conference ... well worth it to me!]

Up Late...

2010-06-09T01:07:00.005+08:00

...don't know why.

This actually happens a lot.
I'm sitting with my computer on my lap doing one thing or another.
(Tonight it's been taxes and emails).
The TV is on in the background and all of a sudden... it goes to static.
And that tells me it's waaaaay past my bedtime.

So I've been sitting here with static on the screen for probably the past hour.
Been thinking today about the people who give leadership to the organization I'm a part of and those that I serve in my work.

Wow.

When I think about many of these people I think...
incredible experiences.
impressive minds.
dedicated.
passionate.
driven.
powerful.
influential.
wise.
humble.
committed.
servant-hearted.
visionary.

And I think about all things that they frequently have to deal with...
the responsibilities.
the hard, hard decisions.
the people.
the stress.
the misunderstandings.
the never-ending demands.
the unknowns.
the temptations.

And that on top of all those things, there are their own personal struggles within and those hardships in their own lives and in the lives of those they love.

I want to be more appreciative, more affirming, more prayerful, more mindful of those people that God has chosen to serve as leaders (whether in role, position, influence, whatever...).

Monday Mix of Random

2010-06-07T20:04:00.003+08:00

Happy Monday, friends.
Here's probably the most random mix of random thoughts... Hehehe!

Love it / Hate it.
My love / hate relationship with technology and social media rages on.
It frustrates me at times how incredibly dependent I am on my computer. My computer has been in the shop for the past month. I'm surviving -- mostly because I was provided a loaner laptop to use. But even still -- it's not my computer so it's unfamiliar, uncomfortable and inconvenient at times and it makes my work a little bit stunted. A sign, I think, that I'm overly dependent on technology. :)

And social media -- a few weeks ago I realized that I had a very unhealthy relationship with FB. Okay -- Addicted and too easily effected by what I was reading. You get the picture. So I've cut back. I think it's helped. But the thing I love about FB and other social media is staying connected. So I miss that. Finding the balance. Meantime -- continuing to love Skype and being able to see and talk to those I love.

Makes Me Want to Dance!
Oh how I love music that makes me want to dance.
That's all.
Love it!
Still on my list of things I want to learn.

Grateful
The past two weeks I've been working with a group of colleagues developing how they present their work to the public. I continue to be amazed at the opportunities that I get to work with incredibly passionate and wise people. To be part of a work that truly desires to see people and communities restored to wholeness is really a blessing. And I'm grateful that this truly is God's work. There's something in remembering that fact that brings a sense of peace and confidence -- even when I don't feel all that confident in myself. I feel God worked with us in the process -- grateful for the wisdom, the direction, and the inspired thinking.

Church
I miss my churches in PA and FL. I miss being a part of a church community. I miss being a part of a family of believers. I miss experiencing worship with people I know -- standing beside someone I know and singing praises together, receiving communion from a familiar face, talking with friends about what we heard in the message... living and serving together. While I still am looking for that here in Manila, I'm so thankful for Northland's online worship -- that has been SUCH a blessing.

Out of Tune
My guitar has sat in its bag for months. I pulled it out this past month to continue once again my pursuit to learn to play guitar. It's horribly out of tune. Working on tuning it...still. :)

Pizza Hut Misses Me
I'm sure Pizza Hut is missing me. It's been a long, long time since I've called them. Hehehe. Since I've been home for more than a month I've actually gone grocery shopping and have regularly prepared my own food. [GASP!] The fast food delivery industry has experienced a significant decline in their income this month.

There's Always Something
I have done a TERRIBLE job keeping my ministry partners updated on all that has happened this past month. It was a priority to get a newsletter out this past month. I haven't. I was also planning on taking one day as a personal day to get away, spend time in prayer, read. I haven't. There's always something that seems to get in the way of these two things -- that are important to me -- from happening. So, when I get back from my trip I plan to take my day-away and to get my newsletter out. REALLY.

My Love Flower
My love flower has returned!!! Walking to work one morning last week I looked down and was pleasantly surprised to see a little splash of pink. What a sweet, sweet gift!! It's not the same flower that grew there last year, but still... a beautifully, sweet expression to me of my Father's love.

Leaving...
Next week I leave for a quick trip. It's been a while since I've traveled, so I'm looking
forward to packing up and heading out. Less than a week in S. Asia -- a place I've heard much about and looking forward to seeing myself!

And... to my Wycliffe friends in Orlando... HAPPY DELEGATE'S CONFERENCE! Praying for all the energy, strength and joy as you serve all the delegates and the organization in this upcoming week. Have a great one!!!!

Still Counting...

2010-05-30T15:56:00.002+08:00

I have been home since May 1.
I'm pretty sure this is the longest that I've been home.
And it's been nice... very nice.

I was supposed to have flown out today for some meetings this week.
But, it was decided that we would move the meetings here to Manila.

It's been nice to prepare for these meetings this past week without also having to prepare for being out of town. I wasn't going to be gone for long. But, I didn't have to think about packing. I didn't have to make plans for paying bills while I was gone. I didn't have to think about what food might go bad in the fridge. Little things.

So instead of this weekend being a "pack and travel" weekend... I've had a "real" weekend.
Time with friends. Good food. Time with myself. ... and REST.

Tomorrow afternoon our meetings start. Please pray that our week will be marked by wisdom, productivity, creativity and God's presence and direction.

(If you're curious about our meetings... I'll help to lead discussions with a group of colleagues to discuss how their focus of work should be seen and known around the world (branding). We'll also work together on their overall communications strategy and plans.)

HOT! HOT! HOT!

2010-05-23T18:29:00.003+08:00

It's really hot here in Manila.
I don't remember it being this hot and humid last year.
I feel my energy getting zapped just stepping outside.

I spent almost the whole weekend at home with the AC on. I'm so glad that I have AC at home... but even with it on I still had migraines and just felt like napping!!

So, I'm definitely looking forward to the change of seasons.
Remind me that I've said that when I'm sitting in the office with my clothes drenched from the daily downpours.

Prayer Request...

2010-05-19T12:15:00.002+08:00

Would you take some time today to pray for friends of mine, the Kondos?

Today they will have funeral services for their baby boy, Nozomu Caleb Kondo.
Nozomu went to be with the Lord on May 15, 2010 -- just 24 days after his birth.

Please pray for these friends -- for the peace and comfort that He alone can give.

(FYI: Posting this from my blog as a way to share this prayer request with my FB friends. So feel free to email me if you have questions or would like me to pass on words of prayer and encouragement to them.)

Great and Mighty

2010-05-15T19:06:00.003+08:00

by Jason Kennedy

Lord, You are gentle;
You are so kind.
I lay my life at Your feet,
Do what You will with me, O Lord

You have been faithful,
Lord, You are good.
I give You all that I am
And ever hoped to be,
Oh Lord.

Great and mighty,
Lord, You're holy;
I will bow before You only.
All the honor and all the glory
Is due Your name,
So I will give You praise.

Time Goes By...

2010-05-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

...with or without me being around.

Amazing. The world doesn't stop when I'm away!
Embarrassing to admit it, but that's a hard truth to be okay with at times.

Even when I lived in the States I wasn't always living close enough to friends and family to be around for everything. But for some reason, living in another country makes events in others' lives so much more significant AND so much harder to miss.

Miss...

seeing my nephew graduate from pre-school.
seeing my NEW nephew growing in my sister-in-law's belly!
seeing my nieces grow up -- too fast!! (Baby Bella's walking!!)
visiting my sister in her own post-graduation place.
being with people I love dealing with hard, hard times.
being around to help my parents get ready for whatever's next for them.
friends getting engaged, married and pregnant!
friends taking incredible steps of faith and moving towards exciting new things!
seeing godchildren have dance recitals and such.
... just being face to face with people I love.

Love Days Like Today...

2010-05-13T20:12:00.003+08:00

Nothing really significant happened.

But, I find that more often than not I tend to dwell on the hard, the difficult, the uncomfortable, the annoying, the frustrating. When I take time to pay attention and live with an attitude of thanksgiving, there really is a lot to be thankful for in the day-to-day... the ordinary.

So all in all, it was a good day.

Swwwweeeetttt...

I was able to have a few really PRODUCTIVE hours of work in the office before I had to go computer-less.
And while I was computer-less, I got to take care of a couple of overdue appointments. So, I'm thankful for co-workers who take care of my IT needs AND thankful that timing worked out so well at the doctors' offices!
Watched the cutest couple eat dinner together. And sweet, they shared a slice of blueberry cheesecake.
I'm certain that God protected me from getting smashed by an FX on my walk home.

You make me feel like dancing!

I love music that makes me smile and want to dance!
Saw the cutest little girl in the eye clinic today. She was sooo sooo cute!!!
I wore a skirt today. It also made me feel like singing and dancing today -- like they do in the old musicals (which by the way, having a hard time finding any in the video shops here :( )

People!!

Friendly, helpful people! So thankful for people who really take care to do their best in the services they provide... and do so with a smile!
Love friends who are willing to make space in their lives to care for others.
Blessed with sweet reminders of friends who care for me through their encouragement and prayers.
I get to work with some pretty awesome people. I sense that they are people who truly want to serve God with all that they are and help see change in people's lives. Today, the things I worked on related to friends in Indonesia, India, Thailand, the Philippines, Kenya and Dallas. Love that God lets me join in with Him and with others in the ways that He does.

Super-Hero School...

2010-05-11T21:14:00.006+08:00

...that's where I was last night -- in my dreams.

Yeah -- in my dream last night I went to super-hero school. Go ahead and laugh. :)

So there I was in class -- me and 3 brothers. The youngest brother, about 6 years old, drove me to school on his bicycle (I rode "side-saddled" -- yes, on a bicycle). The eldest was played by John Krasinski (the guy who plays Jim from The Office), and he sat next to me in class (swwwwoooooon :) ) When class was dismissed we emptied out to the hallway where we were met by Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Mighty Mouse -- the whole lot of super heroes.

Our teacher was played by Ashton Kutcher and our lesson for the day was on "PAIN and SUFFERING." Our discussion was on how to increase the threshold of our ability to go through pain and suffering. Really, I have no recollection of what our teacher said, just woke up remembering the topic of discussion.

Little snippets of the dream kept popping up in my head throughout the day today. I just couldn't shake it from my mind (I think it's the heat in Manila!).

Not even going to try to interpret this dream.
But it has made me think about the different life circumstances of friends and family around me.
So many going through so much PAIN and SUFFERING.
Hard things.
Terrible things.
Heart-wrenching things.

As I watch friends and family go through these painful situations, I tend to look at them with a sense of awe and inspiration.
Trust. Faith. Hope. Perserverance. Belief in a greater good.
These are the things I sense in them.
These are the things that make them "super-hero" worthy to me.

What makes a hero to you??

"I Love You"

2010-05-10T00:20:00.001+08:00

Reflections - "I Love You"

"Aileen, I love you.
I shed my own blood for you to make you clean. You are new, so believe it is true.
You are lovely in my eyes and I created you to be just as you are.
Do not criticize yourself or get down for not being perfect in your own eyes.
I want you to trust me, one step, one day at a time. Dwell in my power, and love.
Be free...be yourself.
Don't allow other people to run you. I will guide you, if you let me.
Be aware of my presence in everything.
I give you patience, love, joy, peace. Look to me for answers, for I am your Shepherd and will lead you. Follow me only. Listen and I will tell you my will. Be not concerned with yourself...
you are my responsibility. I will change you without you hardly knowing it.
You are to love yourself and others simply because I love you. Take your eyes off yourself.
Look to me, I lead, I change, I make, but not when you are trying. I won't fight your effort.
You are mine. Let me have the joy of making you like Christ. Let me love you.
Do you see, child? You are not your own. You have been bought with blood and now you belong to me.
I love you. Do not struggle, be relaxed in my love, I know what is best and will do it in you.
How I want freedom to love you freely. Stop trying to be and let me make you what I want.
My will is perfect. My love is sufficient. I will supply all your needs. Look to me, child."
- Jesus

Printed in black and white on plain, white paper, this letter was stuck in a stack of old papers I brought with me from home. Finding it tonight in that big ol' pile of papers was a timely, sweet encouragement (especially before celebrating communion with Northland online this evening).

Folded in half, on the outside are written the words, "For Aileen."
Usually when someone gifts me with words of encouragement I write down who gave it to me, when and a some note about how/why it was given to me. This time -- for some reason, I hadn't.
All I have is "For Aileen... - Jesus."

May 10, 2010

2010-05-09T21:55:00.003+08:00

... election day in the Philippines!!

According to Wikipedia, there are currently more than 85,000 candidates for 17,000 national and local positions. Included in the election tomorrow are candidates for the next President of the Philippines.

Tomorrow's election day will be the first national computerized election in the country's history.

Pray for wisdom for the nation's citizens as they cast their votes.
Pray for peace and order -- for election day and also during the transition to new leadership.
Pray for God's will to be done.

Pray for the Philippines.

(OH! and being election day, it's a holiday. So... no work tomorrow.)

28 DAYS...

2010-05-04T21:32:00.002+08:00

Grounded.
No air travel.
HOME.

I sat at my desk today.
As I looked at my calendar and saw that I had an uninterrupted 28 days at home, I was filled with kind of a giddy, excited feeling. Some things that I'm excited about...

sleeping and waking up in my own bed.
following up on work tasks from my last few trips and getting some things done for my next trip. Crossing things off of my to-do list!
resting.
routine.
finally going for LOOOONNGGGG overdue follow up appointments with various doctors.
catching up on stuff I've let go out of control for too long. (paperwork, taxes, updates to ministry partners, ...)
going to one of my favorite spots in town for some reading and journaling time.
having lunches / dinners with friends.
going to church and Bible study.
hopefully visiting with some family.
printing and framing some photos from the last year for my place.
catching up with friends and family over Skype!!!
... and TOMORROW... getting extra pages added to my passport!!!!

Returning to My First Love

2010-04-18T22:40:00.006+08:00

Over the past several weeks I have been getting this message from all kinds of places and people...
"return to your first love."

I love what I get to do for my work. I enjoy the challenges. I enjoy the things I get to learn. I love that I get to participate -- in a tiny, tiny way -- in things that ultimately will contribute to worshipers coming before the Lord. I love that I get to experience God through His people and His mission.
I chose, out of obedience, to do this work because of my love for God.

I worry though that sometimes I love my work... too much.

When I was in S. Asia the leader of the organization I was visiting challenged me with the thought...
"Have you become so busy preparing the carpet for the Kingdom, that you have lost the longing for the King."

One of our Area directors was also at the retreat and throughout the week he shared powerful messages from the book of Philippians. During one of his talks he used a common American nursery rhyme as an illustration and it stuck with me.

"Pussycat, pussycat... where have you been?"
"I've been to London to visit the queen."
"Pussycat, pussycat... what did you dare?"
"I frightened a little mouse under her chair."

Sometimes I become so easily diverted. How often am I unable to maintain focus and get caught up in trivial things? How often am I like the cat, who in the presence of Royalty, loses focus and gets distracted by all kinds of tiny things that get in my view?

And then the other weekend, Pastor Joel was sharing at Northland about the central nature our relationship with God must have in our lives. He shared how the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, Dr. Bill Bright, often shared with him this prayer request ... "Pray that I'd return to my first love." In his message, Pastor Joel said something like -- if this prayer request is good for the leader of one of the world's largest evangelical organizations, shouldn't it be good for us also?

Am I more passionate about preparing proposals and presentations than I am about dwelling in His holy presence?

And so, that is my prayer... I want to "return to my first love." I fear that I've been losing the single-minded purpose of knowing God. I am saddened to think that I've become so preoccupied laying carpet in the kingdom, that I've been missing out on the presence of the King.

Philippians 3 strongly describes how completely worthless and gross any of my accomplishments or anything is ... in comparison to having Christ. It's all rubbish.

So I've been thinking about this and just wondering what does this mean. What needs to change in my life? Sometimes I act as though I have to make some "grand act" or there needs to be some big, huge "event" -- something that will just turn things around and make everything new and different. But I think I realized something tonight as I was listening to church online again.

My relationship with God is just that... a relationship.
And relationships hinge on commitment, communication and choices.
And in relationships -- like marriage -- you choose to love.
Every day. Every moment.
You take opportunities to choose to love. You look for opportunities to love. You act in ways to express love. You listen in love. You submit in/to love. You use your words to love.
You continually make choices that reflect your continual decision to love.
Every day. Every moment. In big ways. In the tiniest of ways.
And I think in continually making those choices, you are loving... and you grow deeper in love.

I know... simple truths. But these simple truths sometimes escape me and I become desperately in need of reminders. By God's grace... He knows... and He does.

Pray that the choices I make... every day, every moment...are choices reflecting a constant and continual return to my first love.

PS -- I just re-read this and thought some people may be concerned that I'm not being proactive enough about making choices towards making change. I know... especially me ... I need to be very intentional about decisions to bring about change. It doesn't just happen. So "action steps" will be made...
But I think I needed to realize was that there are decisions and choices I make day-to-day, in between the "action steps" in between the "big events" and "grand acts" that are just as significant. -- if that makes any sense to ANYONE :)

My Saturday at "Home"...

2010-04-17T21:31:00.003+08:00

...was actually spent in Mega Mall.

I love when I get weekends at home. I enjoy sleeping in, taking care of things in my house, lounging around watching movies or reading. I enjoy being home. Go ahead, call me a home-body :)

This weekend I'm in Manila and was looking forward to being home today.
BUT, knowing that I'm taking off next weekend I decided I should take care of an important errand today.

Several years ago I found the most fabulous travel companion... the PERFECT carry-on size luggage. For weeks I went to store after store. I inspected every piece available all over the Orlando area. I was determined to find just the right one. And there at Ross... I found him! He was a "unique" color -- olive green with red trim. The perfect size -- cabin sized that was also expandable. He was perfect for carrying on or checking in -- just right for a week-long trip. And durable!! He was my faithful friend on every trip we took together. SIGH.

He's not forever gone -- but he's far, far away.
When my parents were packing up to head home, they needed an extra piece of luggage. And since it was late on a Sunday night ...I had to say goodbye to him.

So today... I went to the mall with the insane idea that I'd be able to pick something up in an hour or so.

Because I am by far the most indecisive shopper EVER, the hour-long errand took more like 8 hours.
I am certain that I was the entertainment for all the luggage salespeople in that mall. I went from store to store checking things out. I opened bags. I opened compartments. I wheeled bags around. I expanded and collapsed the handles.

For hours. Literally.

I just couldn't make a decision so I decided to take a break. I ended up getting some frozen yogurt followed up with a trip to the hair salon. I was there for a while; I got a color and cut -- which comes with a nice head and back massage. Sitting there as Oliver massaged my head and shoulders I was thinking about why this errand had become SUCH a big deal.

I guess I'm still getting used to shopping here and not constantly comparing it with all my lifelong experiences of shopping at home. Shopping here isn't bad ... it's just different. Sometimes I find that I dwell on the differences and I just don't let myself get past them. And it's times like that when I get stalled.

Back home I shopped for luggage at Ross and Marshall's. I got really great deals on really good quality luggage. Often when I've shopped at those stores, you could spend your whole shopping trip without a single salesperson speaking to you until you get to the register. I felt the freedom to pull bags of shelves, open them up, and test them out.

Shopping here, salespeople make it their priority to help the customer in any way that they can. That often means that you can be approached by a lot of workers sharing products with you to see if it might be what you need. In the department stores each brand has salespeople assigned to it -- so because of that you might be approached by numerous people. And, because they are there to serve you, if anyone spots you pulling a bag out -- they are quick to help you out.

Shopping here REALLY isn't bad ... it is just different. I love how friendly the sales people are. I had some fun conversations with the sales people today. I love how eager they are to help. They tried their hardest to find something that would meet all my requirements. And boy --- were they patient!! But, sometimes I just want to walk the aisles at my own pace and not feel like I'm hurting someone or that I've wasted their time because I didn't end up buying their product. (Which really, that is just my own personal issue with being a people pleaser. I had one salesguy even tell me, "Oh that other brand you're looking at there. That's also a good quality. Yes, you should get that if you want to save money.")

When all the beautifying at the salon was complete, I left there determined to get past my mental blocks.
I returned to the store where I was warmly welcomed back by all my new luggage friends, "Oh, Ma'am you're back!" I decided to make a decision and buy something. I chose to forget about what my past experiences were like and make a decision based on my present reality.

And so, introducing my new friend...
She is beautiful! Or, as the sales guy told me -- sophisticated, like me. (Okay, so maybe I got suckered in a little bit by the flattery). She has a nice, smooth working "trolley" (i learned that term today). She has FIVE, yes FIVE wheels. She even has a built in TSA lock. And... she is NOT black. She is a charcoalish grey. I think she's different enough to stand out on the luggage carousel. And, I even picked up a little friend to go along with her. She'll be perfect to carry my laptop and my travel papers.

I sometimes get caught off guard when I find myself being overwhelmed or still experiencing moments of what people might call -- "culture shock."
So long as I recognize when I hit those moments and am able to move through them...

OH!!! I think I'm inspired by my friends who have their little travel buddies. A friend visiting this week had her "Kid Bean." Ruth has "Filbert." All the world has "Flat Stanley." And so, I think it would be nice to have a little stuffed buddy to travel through Asia with me.
Now to find just the right one... hahahahaha!!!

And another OH!! I don't mind that it took so long today. Because it was so late I went to have dinner at another nearby mall. And there I had my 2nd celebrity sighting... Derek Ramsey and Sam Milby. [BIG SMILE].

My First Love...

2010-04-12T19:31:00.010+08:00

Pastor Joel's message this past weekend was about relationships.
I love when he shares about relationships. He has so much wisdom and shares such good insights and truths that I often need to be reminded about.

His message was a good and timely one.
The key point for me was basically the truth that my relationship with God is essential to my relationships in life -- to truly be free to really love people in my life.
Really, my relationship with God is essential to my life -- period.
I loved and needed the sweet reminder to "return to my first love."
I've been hearing that message a lot lately.
Hearing it as often as I have in the last few weeks -- SIGH -- praying that I would not just HEAR, but DO.

On Being Single...
Since living and working in Asia it has felt like I get asked a lot more often why it is that I'm not yet married.

Sometimes when people ask that it feels like they are saying that a husband and marriage is just something you can run out and get at the store. It's like they are saying to me, "So, why didn't you just pick one up??"
Is it really that easy? Hahahaha.

Sometimes during these types of conversations I start to feel like they think I have chosen against marriage.
Like I have chosen not to get married.
Like I have had -- and declined -- tons of offers.

I haven't. I haven't declined any offers; there have been none. :)
I have not chosen against marriage.
I am a believer of marriage. I would like to be in one.
When it's time. When it's the right person.

I also don't feel like I have chosen career over marriage and family. I have heard that one too.
And when people hear about my work and the life I lead... I get this "Aaahhh..." like they've figured me out.
But no, I don't feel like I have chosen an adventurous, travel-filled lifestyle over settling down and having a family.

I feel like I have tried to choose to say YES to God.
I have asked of Him,"Where and what can I do to be a part of what you're doing in the world," and I've chosen to do those things as He reveals the opportunities to me.

I feel like I have chosen to try to live my life in a way so that whether I am 80 and single OR 80 and married with a long line of grandkids, I want to be able to say that I lived my life responding to God and not feel like I was continually just waiting for life to start.

For the most part I feel content in life.
Does that mean I don't want to be a wife and a mother??
No. Honestly, I still long for that.
And, I've been challenged lately in thinking about why I sometimes feel as though I have to be hush-hush about that desire.

I do wonder that while I have not consciously chosen against marriage etc., have my decisions in life, my lifestyle, my independent nature, etc. do they reflect subconsciously a choice in themselves??

I don't know the answer to that... but, I do know...
I'll continue to say YES to God...and trust Him for the one who says YES too.
And then ... we'll say YES together. :)

Back on 3rd.

2010-04-11T20:33:00.003+08:00

Today I was back on the 3rd floor...back at my desk in the office.

The last time I was in the office was sometime in mid-February, I think.
Between taking two trips and working from home while my parents were visiting... it feels like it's been a loooooonnnnggggg time since I've worked in the office.

It feels good to be back with my friends and colleagues.
I spent about half the day today just visiting with colleagues, cleaning my desk and all the other settle-back-in types of things.
And then I spent the other half of the day meeting with my supervisor.

I had seen her for about 10 minutes when I brought my parents through the office during their visit.
Before that, the last time I saw her was at the beginning of February.
We had a lot to catch up on.
So ... we met for 5 hours.

I spent time over this weekend trying to prioritize my "Things-To-Do."
So basically we reviewed my 6-page list reviewing work that is going on with different clients, upcoming meetings and travels and sprinkling in some fun conversation throughout.

Even though I had a lot of things on my list -- and ADDED some during our meeting, I'm surprisingly not too overwhelmed by it. Hopefully things stay that way! :)

It's good to be back.
Glad to be reconnecting this week.

Things that have Made Me Smile Lately...

2010-04-09T20:26:00.008+08:00

1. Cafe Coffee Day's Tagline

"A lot can happen over coffee"

Love it!
Makes me want to go there and have coffee... you never know what can happen!

2. "I feel pretty. Oh so pretty."

I don't know what it is about clothes I get to wear while I'm in S. Asia. But, it always makes me want to sing "I feel pretty. Oh so pretty." I love the colors and the patterns... I love how it makes me feel ... pretty!

3. The Man

Every morning when I'd leave the place where I was staying, this man would greet me so heartily with a HUGE smile and some words. I really have no idea what he was saying, but his friendliness was always a great way to start the morning!!

He smiled his big toothy smile right after I snapped this photo.

4. Get them hooked on the classics!

Spotted this in the airport. For all you Twilight series fans... the covers of these classics probably look somewhat familiar. Love the way they are trying to get people to read the classics.

In case you can't see it, the cover of Wuthering Heights has this little call-out design that says, "Bella and Edward's Favourite Book." :)

5. Trees. Flowers. Water. The Night Sky

Love the touches of nature that I've been gifted with lately.

6. Branded

People go crazy over branded stuff. That alone makes me smile. But, when I saw this polo shirt for sale in Greenhills during my parent's visit... I had to laugh out loud. Can someone tell me -- is there a shirt like this for real?????

7. KIDS!!

I have soooo loved kids being around.

Smiling faces. Laughs. Whiney cries. Headfuls of curls. Running around.
Oh, how kids have made me smile in the last few weeks!!

8. Shimmering Water!

This made me smile in such a special way today... gets its own category apart from #5. I loved the way the water reflected off the lagoon water making it shimmer and shine like diamonds. Beautiful!!!!

Making friends...

2010-04-09T20:22:00.002+08:00

There are times when my very independent nature becomes incredibly evident to me and I realize how incredibly COUNTER cultural it probably seems here in Asia.

Today was a holiday here in Manila. Having just returned yesterday from traveling, I was quite excited for a day alone to rest, relax and reflect.

So, I found a park that I wanted to explore. I walked around for quite a while and then found a spot to "be still." I realized that I was the only one I saw there that was alone. There were couples (LOTS of them!), families, groups of friends, birthday parties...but no other solo acts.

I was listening to Shane and Shane singing "It is Well" while journaling when I felt the tiniest little tap on my shoulder. In her 1 1/2 year old ways the cutest little girl smiled and talked to me. The little girl, Kaye, walked over from her family's spot to be my friend. Awww.... :)

I wonder if even as a child she was making her own observations. I wonder if she knew I was there alone in a world where that's somewhat odd and decided that SHE would be my friend.

HA! Her parents were just as sweet and friendly to me. They thought I was Korean. Haha. Add that to my "I'm an Asian chameleon" list . :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Quezon City

Loving God Out of Doors

2010-04-09T19:58:00.004+08:00

"Jesus knew that God is our caregiver, but creation can be the warm blanket that God uses to wrap our cold hearts." - Gary Thomas, "Sacred Pathways"

I love being outside. I find that being under a tree, sitting in the grass, watching the sun, hearing water... all of these things help bring rest to my mind and soul and draw me closer to the Lord. It helps to open my heart and mind to hear from Him.

I have missed that A LOT in the time that I've lived here.
In Gainesville I had ... the whole UF campus! ... and The Thomas Center!!
In Orlando I had Leu Gardens, Lake Eola, Disney's boardwalk, ... Disney!
In Pennsylvania I had Bucks County Community College, Core Creek Park, Tyler Park, ... my backyard!

So far I haven't found spots here that are "THAT" place to go.

Today I went to a park in Quezon City to check it out.
It isn't quite "that" place, but I am thankful for the day I had there today.

A shady spot under a tree.
Sitting by the water with the sun making it shimmer.
Kids skipping rocks.
A nice consistent breeze keeping it cool enough to stay outside.
My journal, some notes, my Bible, my iPod ... and a big bottle of water.
A great day...

BLESSED: Part 3 - Fun and Family

2010-04-06T00:11:00.010+08:00

One of the things I was concerned about in anticipating this trip, was feeling emotionally torn.
I left my parents at the airport in Manila the day I left for the retreat. Saying goodbye to them after a great visit -- I boarded the plane for S. Asia and they boarded theirs for the States (with Jason Castro from American Idol!!!).

I was worried about how I'd feel emotionally during my time away.

But, it was hard to feel homesick while I was at the retreat.
One of the things I enjoyed about my time there was being surrounded by families and being a part of a group that felt like a family.

I enjoyed watching them work together, play together, eat together, and serve each other.

People took care of others' kids as if they were their own. As a matter of fact, I had to mentally keep track of which kids belonged with which parents because more often than not someone else was holding them.
And I loved that!

I loved hearing the kids run around and laugh. I loved watching them worship together -- in work, in play, in prayer. I loved watching the group interact and laugh with each other.

I loved feeling welcomed and a part of things while together with them.

BLESSED: Part 2 - Servant Leadership

2010-04-06T00:10:00.003+08:00

There is much to learn from great leaders.
The greatest joy for me is learning from their example.

The first day of the retreat, one of the leaders set the stage for the rest of the week. Basically he shared about the heart of the organization.

Knowing the struggles and difficult circumstances that they have faced -- individually and corporately -- I was inspired by the words of commitment. Even when it "cost" them much.
Their example of such commitment and perseverance is amazing. They are beautiful models of humility.

As he spoke, he challenged us with words about love, humility, loyalty, submission...

And then he served the people in that manner -- with love, humility, loyalty and submission -- he and his wife came before each person and washed their feet.

The most beautiful thing to me about that moment was the incredible sincerity and genuineness about it. As I watched the husband and wife kneel before each person gathered, I saw them serve them with love and compassion. They prayed for them -- the kinds of prayers that are lined with passion and a sense of knowing the deep things to pray over. Real. Genuine. Heart-felt. Sincere.

I saw the tears of the people as they were loved on. I don't know what each one was thinking... maybe like me, they felt absolutely humbled and undeserving of such an act of love ... yet at the same time, filled with such an amazing touch of grace and love that was flooding over me.

I felt grateful. I felt honored. I felt humbled. I felt awed. I felt Jesus.

And there on that first day... blessed. Absolutely blessed.

BLESSED: Part 1 - Praying Together

2010-04-04T23:28:00.003+08:00

There are so many things that I have been challenged with over the past two weeks.

As I have sat and participated in the spiritual retreat with colleagues from one of our national partner organizations, I have been blessed, blessed, blessed, by their example.

I feel like God has shown me so much through them and I hope that I can apply and truly GROW from these experiences.

PRAYING TOGETHER
This community is QUICK to pray together. I so appreciated that!

As one shared a testimony about their baby girl, in an instant one of the leaders was standing beside him calling up the wife and child and fellow colleagues lifting up the baby in prayer. As another individual shared during a devotional time, he expressed the struggle against worry and anxiety. Again, someone stood beside him in prayer.

So many times during the two weeks there seemed to be opportunities to trust one person or situation to the Lord -- and it was so encouraging and challenging to me to see them QUICK to move to prayer.

One of my last nights there one of the staff asked everyone to gather at the main hall. As we gathered outside each one was given a candle. Inside music was playing,

"Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world"

One of the leaders stood on the steps, each one walking by taking the flame from his candle to their own. We entered into the darkness ... with our light. On the floor of the hall was the outline of the nation, now lit as each one staked claim over it with their candle.

The group circled around and holding each others' hands, prayed in unison for the country.

"NO MORE DARKNESS. HOPE. VICTORY. BROKEN CHAINS. TRANSFORMED LIVES. YOUR WORD. YOUR GLORY. USE US. LIGHT."

As the voices hushed, the group sang,

"Shine Jesus shine, fill this land with the Father's glory blaze spirit blaze set out hearts on fire..."

Committed to prayer.
Passionate in it.

Hello again...

2010-04-04T22:59:00.003+08:00

Yes, it's been over a month.
And much has happened!

I'll be revisiting the last several weeks over some time. Blogging about what's happened is good for me. :)

Today for example...
the day that started last night around 11:16 PM.

11:16 PM
Got picked up for my ride to the airport

4:30 AM ish
Arrived at the airport for my 10:30 AM flight.
The nice ticketing agent was so sympathetic... "Oh, ma'am... you're so early... I'm sorry.

Spent the morning listening to my "Easter Playlist," sipping on lychee iced tea, writing out some random thoughts, and napping here and there.

10:00 AM ish
Flight begins boarding.

11:20 AM ish
Still sitting waiting ... something is wrong with the starter. Engineers are checking into it.

12ish
Captain announces that the plane is grounded. Another plane is getting ready for us and a shuttle is coming to pick us up.

Shuttle arrives.

HILARIOUSLY, we pile into the shuttle bus and the bus doors won't close AND the shuttle struggles to get started. HAHAHA!! I was glad to see that other passengers still had enough humor in them to laugh at the situation too. Hehehe. :)

12:15ish
I'm back in my 17C seat

12:45ish
Get myself some lunch... I'm hungry!

1:50ish
Bags are already coming around on the baggage carousel.

2:30ish
Taxi picks me up -- and I'm on my way!

I was very happy when I arrived at the house where I'm staying.
I was feeling pretty tired -- just ready to rest.
I felt like it was such a long delay, but in reality -- the airline moved pretty quickly, and thankfully we didn't take off on a broken plane!

I think of all my colleagues around the world who travel constantly.
They travel by plane, train, bus, boat... in cities, in villages, in places unknown to most of us.

Some friends I met here will be doing a lot of travel this month -- two adults and a sweet, sweet little baby. From one destination to the other may take up to a week alone!

Oh, to always choose to look at things in perspective.

I heard a story the other week about a family, stuck in the middle of nowhere, on a broken bus. And the family -- in those circumstances -- sang songs about JESUS. To one woman on that bus they exhibited such PEACE and CONTENTMENT. Created in that woman was a longing for THAT.

I want to be that family. :)

Bags...Bags...Bags

2010-03-02T22:48:00.003+08:00

In the last year I've spent a good bit of time standing around the baggage claim areas in different airports.

I've watched bags go by and have wondered about the stories they could tell.

I'm always curious about who will reach out and grab the bag as it passes by.

Where have they been?
Where are they going?
Are they going on some fun adventure?
Or do they have to take care of some hard, sad affair?

When I see some nice, fancy, newish looking luggage I wonder if it's been purchased for a once-in-a-lifetime type of trip or if it's merely a replacement for one that's used every week on one business trip or another.

And then there's my bag... my army green-ish wheeled carry on with red trim, easily identifiable with my bright yellow luggage tag. On it a cartoon-looking frog, sticking out its bright pink tongue. I look and wonder what stories people might imagine of me and my travels.

Returning from BKK to MNL I again was watching as luggage was being claimed when I saw something really different. It was a thin, plastic, circle, zippered pouch. It kind of reminded me of one of the sun shades for windshield windows.

A guy swiftly picked it up and put it on his buddy's cart along with a big, black plastic bin.
Hmmm... curious. I wondered what it was. Thankfully, a little girl was more curious and more brave than I. She asked the guys what was in the bag. A wheel was their answer.

Huh.

Turns out the two guys were from the Netherlands and were in Manila to join a cycling race.

Huh. So THAT is how you transport a bike overseas. Interesting.

Oh the countless stories that are likely spinning around on the baggage claim carousel...

Have I mentioned???

2010-03-02T22:10:00.003+08:00

I haven't updated ... at least not on this blog.
So FB friends, you've heard the news already...

MY PARENTS ARE HERE IN MANILA WITH ME!!!
and...
I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT AGAIN!!!

My Parents
My parents decided while I was away last week that they were going to come to Manila.
So, after returning to Manila on Friday, I prepared for their arrival -- scheduled for midnight Sunday, February 28th.

They landed in Manila around 3:30 AM ... and got to my place around 5 or so.
Along with getting over jetlag, they've been busy catching up with my dad's old high school friends who have been celebrating their 50th reunion over the last week.

I got sick while I was away so while they've been going out, I've been home resting and sleeping.
Actually being sick right now is quite nice. I love the way my mom nurses me to health and I've missed that.

My Niece or Nephew?!
YES! My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their 2nd child!!! I'm sooo excited.
I loved talking with my nephew about the big news. He's so excited to not be the only kid anymore.

He's really hoping for a little brother -- "I REALLY REALLY want a brother."
When I responded, "Well, I guess we'll find out if you'll have a brother or a sister," he said really excitedly, "OR...maybe it could be both! Then I could have a brother AND a sister and there will be three of us kids! Well ... 4 because I'm counting Austin (his pet hamster)."

I love that little guy... and can't wait to meet "the other kid."

My new hobby...

2010-02-21T20:10:00.003+08:00

book collecting.

Okay, it's not really "book collecting" like real collectors who find valuable, rare editions. My book collecting is more like treasure hunting. Okay, scouring through sales piles at bookstores for books that I've read and enjoyed before or ones I think I'll enjoy... for REALLY, REALLY good prices.

I used to not really read on planes. They play movies! Why read when I can watch a movie?! Well, with the travel I've done this year I found myself less and less interested in watching the on-board entertainment. And, I found myself buying last minute airport purchases of paperbacks. While it gave me something to do on a travel day ... as you can expect, buying a book at the airport -- no matter what airport it is -- isn't exactly the cheapest place to buy a book.

So, I've started to keep my eyes open for "travel day" books when I'm out and about.

This weekend I found some great buys! Yesterday a friend introduced me to 99 peso pile at National Book Store. I found some books by authors I've enjoyed in the past. Yay!

And today, while running some errands I walked past a sale of books. And there I found wonderful treasures... 2 volumes of the "Anne" series... for 29 pesos each!!

I leave tomorrow on a trip -- no airport book shopping for me!!

*Have any recommendations for books to hunt down? What books do you think should be on everyone's "must read" list? Any books or authors that you really enjoy?

It's been THAT kind of a week...

2010-02-17T22:42:00.002+08:00

It's ONLY Wednesday.
I'm sooo ready for the week to be over.

This week has been kind of an emotional wrestling match.

I think the biggest thing I'm being challenged with is -- "God is God and I am NOT. And that really is GOOD and RIGHT." :) (ISAIAH 45)

Sometimes I look at life's circumstances and situations and just think and feel -- "That's not right!" And it's easy for my gut reaction to be -- "God fix this!"
As if I know better. Ha!

My parents have been planning and preparing for a trip to Manila. They were supposed to arrive this Friday. They were supposed to attend my dad's 50th high school reunion... and to visit ME (and other family of course!!)

Unfortunately, their plans had to change and they aren't coming anymore.
Over the weekend my mom had to go to the ER because of high blood pressure and high fever. Turns out she has an infection -- she's doing fine and has medicine to take care of it. However, while a hard decision to make, they've decided to not make the long trip at this time. They're unsure about traveling so far, so long.

Also this week I received news that a friend passed away. A young, beautiful and passionate woman, her heart for the Lord and for serving Him was evident. I met her only last June and saw her again in August -- but even in that short time, she was an incredible blessing and example to me. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer -- and from all that was shared about her time living with cancer, she lived with incredible faith, truth and peace in Christ. What an example of a life well-lived.

Grateful ...
- that my mom is feeling much better and she is getting what she needs to continue to get better.
- that while I can't see my parents in person ... I can still see and talk with them over Skype.
- that my friend is such a beautiful example of faith... to all whose life she has and WILL continue to touch through the stories that are shared about her.
- that she had the peace and love of Christ in her life... and in death.
- that in Him there is healing and wholeness.
- that God is patient with me. When my heart just wants to rage against everything that feels like it should be different... He knows and understands my heart and my hurts and helps me through it all.
- that God IS God... that He is in control... that He is WISE and GOOD and so are ALL the ways that He works.
- that even with all the questions, confusion, disappointments and sadness... that in Christ there is Truth, wisdom, hope, peace and joy.

Please pray for my parents. That my mom's health would continue to improve. And that the disappointment of missing out on this long-planned trip would be replaced with fun, sweet surprises while they stay home.

Please pray for my friends' family and friends. Pray for healing for hurt hearts. Pray for comfort and peace. Pray too for the lives that would be impacted through her life and how she chose to live it.

Pray that God would be glorified in ALL things. And, that I would trust and believe that.

A few random thoughts from today...

2010-02-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

1. I really do love mornings at Ortigas Park. The quiet and serenity there MAY be enough to get me up early in the morning.

2. Communion is really a sweet way to celebrate Valentine's Day. "May we never forget the cost of Your love..."

3. Mall of Asia -- too many people!! Really, with all the malls here... Don't know that I'll ever have the need to go there again. At least not on the weekend.

4. Movies are really extra enjoyable when viewed from a lazboy. :)

5. Trusting my parents (my loved ones) to God I think will be a continual trust and faith exercise for me. It's hard to be so far away... Mommy had to make a trip to the ER because of high blood pressure and high fever. She's home and better. Pray for them both please. They are leaving to come here on Friday. Pray for clean bill of health and a safe, enjoyable trip and stay.

6. Finding TRUE rest-- physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually ... Not always easy to do. But so very worth it. Must remember to do it more often.

A little late, but...
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Year Later...

2010-02-13T20:37:00.004+08:00

What I dreamed of then...

And, how God has provided...

I was just thinking back to "this time last year" and looking at one of my photo albums on Flickr. The photo on top was taken 2/13/09 ... and the bottom was taken today.

2/13/09...
I had been in the Philippines for just about two weeks. I was getting acquainted with my colleagues. I was looking ANXIOUSLY for a place to live. And, I was getting ready to head out on my first trip in the Area.

A lot was happening. Everything seemed to be going incredibly fast... and incredibly slow all at the same time. Things at work were moving at warp speed. It felt like that to me anyway. But, moving sooo slowly was my search for a home. I wanted so badly to find "my place" and to start settling in and make Manila home. It felt like things couldn't move any slower in that area.

I can't even remember how many units I saw. Pretty much every building in walking distance to the office -- I visited. This unit was one of the units that I thought -- ah... now this is something I'd like. Unfortunately, it was way over budget. Eventually... I found the unit that today I call home.

2/13/10...
Spent the day resting and relaxing after a busy week. I've been preparing for some upcoming trips over the next couple of months. I'll be busy over the next few weeks visiting with my parents during their stay here in Manila. YAY!!!!

I've been thinking this past week about the HOPE that God has been giving me lately.

I've been here a year. I can't honestly say that I've not had my doubts about being here over the last 365+ days. I've had many days of doubt. Especially after my trip in December, returning was incredibly hard.

But each time I have feelings of doubt, God continues to remind me of what's TRUE.
And, what's TRUE is this...

He has called me to this place and to this work.
He has blessed me to be a blessing.
He has NOT called me to a life of ease and comfort where everything is sunshine and roses.
He has called me to a life of knowing Him, trusting Him, believing Him, loving Him ... and obedience to Him.
He DOES promise that He is with me and that He is my HOPE, PEACE, JOY and EVERYTHING.
With faithfulness, obedience and trust is great reward and joy.

And, looking back over this past year I see that God has provided over and over again in His own sometimes surprising, sometimes unexpected, sometimes confusing, ... but always GOOD, FAITHFUL and GRACIOUS ways.

I look around my home and think... wow! God provided me with a great place to live.
I think about nights that I've shared with friends here and think, wow... God has provided some really great people who bless me in my life. Here, and around the world.
I look out my window out over Ortigas Center and think -- this is a great area to be in!
I think about places I've gone and work I've done in this year and I think -- yes! There is great reward! I've learned much. I've been challenged through much. I've been enriched through so many.

So... a year later.
Continuing to trust ... with each step.

Trying again...

2010-02-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

Yes, I'm trying to learn Tagalog... AGAIN.
Last year I had started to take lessons, but those were quickly interrupted because of travels.
I tried to learn through watching Tagalog TV shows and movies.
I tried to learn just through being around friends.

And, while I do think I'm understanding more -- and faster, I'm not talking in Tagalog hardly AT ALL.

So, I decided that this year I would make SERIOUS attempts at learning the language.
I asked one of my friends in the office if she'd be willing to help me. So now, two nights a week we are getting together for my lessons.

It's been fun. And at least I'm entertaining her! Hahah!

My homework was to write 10 sentences practicing the things we reviewed together. I was to write the 10 sentences and then write them over again using another sentence construction.

The first sentence I wrote was...
"They are riding the elephant." --- "Sila ay sumakay sa elepante."

So, the second construction would have read:
"Sumakay sila sa elepante."

But, instead I wrote -- "Ang elepante sumakay sila" ... The elephant is riding them.

HAHAHAHA! At least I knew that it was wrong when I wrote it!!!
I think I will be giving my teacher plenty of laughs along the way.
Hehehehe!!!

I think my biggest barrier in learning Tagalog is my pride. It's hard to think about sounding foolish. It's hard to be willing to make such big, embarrassing mistakes. It's hard to think about how long and hard it takes me to learn this kind of stuff and how easily it comes to others. I'm learning more than just language in taking these lessons... hopefully so anyway.

Stuck and Stubborn

2010-01-16T07:55:00.002+08:00

This week it was revealed to me how often I get stuck and stubborn about certain things or ways I like things to be.

I often do work and leisure at home -- online.
I like the freedom and mobility that comes with having my internet access available to me WIRELESSLY.
I love that I can work at the dining room table, in my bedroom or in the living room.

Earlier this week I couldn't connect to my wireless network.
Something was wrong.
I determined that my modem was working fine.
Something was wrong with my wireless router.
So, I spent HOURS and HOURS on the phone talking with the manufacturer of the router.

HOURS and HOURS of troubleshooting, reconfiguring, troubleshooting, reconfiguring.
Nothing was working.
After the HOURS and HOURS they told me -- go back to the store with a case number, receipt and the router and get a replacement one.

When I got to the store they said they couldn't do it.
The router isn't sold anymore.
They'd have to find out from their distributor what could be done.

WHAT?! How can I go without my internet at home???

So I asked if they could find out what could be done. They were so great -- willing to call right then and find out what the options were. It would be replaced, but they had to wait for all the paperwork to be processed. It might not be until Saturday that it will be ready.

Saturday???!!! That was days away.

So I walked away, grateful for the store workers and how accommodating they were, trying to calm down and put things in perspective. How bad is it really that I'd have to wait a handful of days?

I have friends in Nairobi who often go days without POWER.
I've lived before without internet connection in my home.

And then I realized... I still have internet.
I just can't connect wirelessly.

DUH!!!!

So I have to plug in and stay in one place. Big deal.

Really... I so often get stuck in my ways and get really stubborn about it.

Now to apply this realization to other (more significant) areas in my life...

NOTE: The store had my replacement router ready for me yesterday. I got it set up this morning. :)

Back in Manila

2010-01-16T07:30:00.001+08:00

I'm back in Manila.
I arrived around midnight on Saturday, January 9th

I admit it... I did a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE job at blogging while I was away.

And now I'm back... and thrown right into work. There is a LOT that I need to do in the next few weeks. So things are so very, very busy. (To give you a clue as to how busy it's been... I've had a working lunch every day this week.)

Lots of great things coming up... it's just that it makes for a LOT to juggle.

Our team is eagerly awaiting the arrival of TWO new team members in the next week or two.Yay!!
I'm coordinating a team that is going to the first dedication of Bible stories in one of the Sign Languages in Asia. It happens at the end of the month and the videographer will be coming this week to be briefed on the project. I need to sort out what they need to work on, prepare helpful information for their trip, and test out new equipment that they'll take along with them.
There are meetings that I'll travel to during the week of the 24th. Myself and a few colleagues will be leading a training session on Communications. Since I just learned about it when I returned... there's still a lot to prepare.
Remember that trip we took to Antique? I'm still reviewing/writing video scripts with the production company. I need to complete that work so they can proceed with final edits.

On top of all that... I'm still jet-lagged. So my mind is working about half the speed. Hehehe.

My time at home was WONDERFUL and VERY, VERY FAST.
Urbana was incredible.
Times with family and friends were so special.

I hope to post some things about it sometime soon!!!
Stay tuned!

In the meantime ... would you pray that I'd get readjusted (physically and emotionally), that I'd get things done that need to be done -- and not stress out about it all.

Freezing Cold!

2009-12-23T14:24:00.002+08:00

I arrived in Tampa, Florida on Sunday, December 20th -- 5:20 PM, EST.
It was a trip that started when I left my apartment on Sunday, December 20th -- 2:30 AM, Manila time.
Yes, that was over 24 hours.

But, the trip went really well so I'm not complaining. :) I got an aisle seat ... with an EMPTY seat next to me for the entire flight from Manila to Nagoya and from Nagoya to Detroit. I landed in Detroit, had a yummy chocolatey treat and then got on my last flight -- where I was seated in first class!!

At the baggage claim of the Tampa Airport were my brother, sister-in-law and nephew waiting for me.

It's been good being here with them -- I've been wrapping presents, watching Christmas movies (yay for Hallmark, ABC Family, Lifetime cheese!!), eating well, sleeping A LOT, playing Trouble and thumb war, and having lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles and tickles.

It's really cold here in Tampa. REALLY cold.

Tomorrow some time my parents and sister should be arriving from Pennsylvania. Praying for good travel for them as they're driving down here. My mom is bringing with her a suitcase of winter clothes. I asked her to pack some stuff for me because on Christmas Day I head to URBANA!!!

YES!! URBANA 09!!!
That's how I got to be here for Christmas.

I'm so excited to be there. URBANA was one of the key experiences that God used to move me closer to getting more involved in the work of Wycliffe and moving me to Asia. I'm looking forward to how God will use the week again -- in the lives of participants that we get to interact with AND in my own life personally.

I've got two more days... then I take off for St. Louis!

Until then... sweet, precious family time celebrating Christmas. So very grateful for this.

Star Ng Pasko

2009-12-18T01:59:00.002+08:00

When I'm up late and see Channel 2 sign off for the night, I get to see the Christmas season station ID -- the song, Star Ng Pasko. The song points to Jesus being the star of Christmas.

LSS (Last Song Syndrome -- a new term I learned from my friends here... hehehe) --- EVERY time I hear it, it sticks with me the rest of the day. It's a fun and catchy tune so really, I don't mind.

I finally Googled the lyrics -- no, I couldn't catch all the lyrics AND also understand it on my own.
And now that I have, I enjoy the song even more! Remembering that just a few months ago the country was devastated by typhoons, the lyrics take on even greater significance.

I've been enjoying my first Christmas season in the Philippines. This song is one thing I've especially loved!

Now, here for YOU... the Star Ng Pasko video with English subtitles. ENJOY!!!
(In this video you will see the "stars" of ABS-CBN, other celebrities, and "common folks.")

What Have I Done?

2009-12-10T14:00:00.001+08:00

My job isn't the kind of job where I get up from the desk where I've sat for the last 8 hours and see a completed, finished, tangible something. Sometimes at the end of the day I think... what did I actually accomplish??

I think this is why I write lots of "THINGS TO DO" lists with even the tiniest of tasks written down.
Update team calendar. Reply to email. Register for training class.
I do a lot of email writing. Thinking. Reading. Planning. Writing plans. Making timelines.
In my job where I might not see a finished "product" for months, seeing check marks next to even tiny tasks at the end of the day helps me to feel like I've been productive.

Hmmm... so, what HAVE I been doing this week?

I've been connecting with partners about an upcoming dedication of the first set of Bible stories in ONE of the Sign Languages used here in Asia.
I reviewed videos that were produced as a result of work we did at the Kinaray-a Bible dedication.
I worked with our production partner on plans for making some revisions to those videos.
I helped fulfill some photo requests.
I worked on making plans for my trip to the States.
I got my fingerprints done. Hehehe!
I did some follow up work on some stuff from my trips to South Asia last month.

Sometimes I get discouraged. Sometimes it feels like I have nothing to "show" for my work. This is the nature of the kind of work I do. So, I have to be okay with that. Simply putting a check mark by "Send email to So-and-So" sometimes is the most important and most productive accomplishment. And, I just need to trust that in the end it contributes to something greater.

The week isn't over yet... so, here's to more check marks! Ha!
(I know... I'm so task, performance-oriented!... God's working on that in me!)

Already?!

2009-12-09T20:54:00.004+08:00

Our team is starting to use a new online, shared calendar. I'm so excited. I love being organized and knowing what's coming up -- not just for me, but for our whole team.

I'm starting to put dates down in the calendar. I've blocked out time at the beginning of January when I'll be in the States. I've put down trips to South Asia at the end of January, end of March, and for sometime in August/September. I've blocked out time in February / March when my parents will be in town. I've penciled in the dates that my friend, Cheeryl, will be in Manila.

Busy already! And these are only the things that I know about -- right now.

Working with so many organizations throughout this huge region of Asia and the Pacific, there are so many opportunities!! But, there's only so much time. I'm anticipating that each of our calendars will be packed throughout the year.

There are lots of things that we are working on now to improve ourselves as a team and what we can offer to our partner organizations.
Photo-sharing website. Monsoon website. File-sharing network, Monsoon Central. Processes.

We're already working on some things with people in the area.
Branding. Communications strategy plans. Websites. Videos. Sooo many other projects.

We have some new team members joining us in the early part of the year.
Welcome, Rachel and Eric!

And we have some exciting ideas that we're pursuing.
Vision trip. Traveling training workshops. Journalism team.

I have a feeling...
2010 is going to be a great year.
Will pray for it. Will believe it!

I'm Dreaming of a GREEN Christmas

2009-12-09T13:30:00.002+08:00

The instructions were to bring...

"A reused, reduced, recycled gift --- yes, we'll have an exchange gift BUT with no price tags attached.
Meaning, you cannot buy anything. Be creative --- create something new with whatever you have around your house or office. Something Christmasy, something meaningful, something you!"

So, this morning at 7 AM (YES!! 7 AM!!) we met at Starbucks for our combo Christmas / Birthday Celebration. (Two of our teammates have birthdays this month. Yay for Cathy and Oliver!)

We enjoyed some breakfast, prayer for the birthday celebrants, sharing about our Christmas traditions... and our Christmas gift exchange!

I got a fun, fun gift that Dawn gave.
The card on the package read, "Enjoy this ready-when-you-are gift to go. Merry Christmas!"
It was a perfect combo of travel goodies! There were headphones (compliments of Thai Airways), toiletries (compliments of various hotels in Asia) in a little cosmetics bag (compliments of Singapore Airlines), tissues (a necessity on the road!), and socks (hmmm.. couldn't identify the airline on that one... I'm thinking it's the Delta blue). To round the whole package out perfectly she included the book, Around the World in 80 Days!

Oh, you can never have too many travel goodies... especially doing this job!

It's so fun working with our team. I find the people on our team to be...

fun.
creative.
enjoyable.
thoughtful.
Christ-lovers.

One More Year

2009-12-08T23:55:00.003+08:00

Paperwork is in process for my visa here in the Philippines to be renewed.
I went today to get fingerprinted for my residency card.
Next week my passport should be ready ... and in it should be my new one-year visa!!

I really hope that it will be ready! I'm supposed to leave for the States next Sunday. Kind of need my passport for that. Ha! (Oh yes, that reminds me!! MORE ON THAT LATER!!!)

Sam and I shared a taxi to the Bureau of Immigration. I had to laugh when he reached back to put his seat belt on. Can you see why??

When we arrived, Kuya Jun was already there with all my paperwork in hand. All I had to do was follow him to the finger stamping lady. It took Sam and I about an hour and half to travel there... and took me less than 5 minutes to finish what needed to be done.
But, I'm definitely NOT complaining! It's great to have colleagues who take care of so much work on behalf of those of us who work in the area and help us know how to best go through these processes. "Yay!" for my friends in Visa Travel Services who track when when I need to renew my visa and help to make sure it all gets done right! (... and so many more other things!) Don't know what I'd do without their help!!

RANDOM: Tomorrow is our team's Christmas Party (7 IN THE MORNING!!! at Starbucks). We're supposed to bring an exchange gift ... reused, recycled -- nothing new or bought. I made theses magazine trees. Kind of fun. I didn't bring much crafty stuff with me and I haven't accumulated much in my house yet. So I was glad to find this fun idea online.

HAPPY!

2009-12-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

I've been missing having "Christmas" in my house. I don't have any Christmas lights up. I don't have a tree. I have no decorations.

I've been wanting to dress up my place for Christmas, but honestly I'm just too lazy and there are other things that NEED to be done. So, buying or making decorations is at the bottom of my priority list.

I came into the office today and was sooo HAPPY!!!
Decorations!!
I spend most of my awake time in the office, so seeing decorations hanging up around my desk made me smile.
I have Christmas music loaded on my iPod so it makes for a fun and festive work environment.

Thanks to Kuya Noel for making it merry on the 3rd floor!

Favorite Christmas Albums to listen to this year:

It's Been A While!

2009-12-06T22:00:00.002+08:00

This past weekend I got to spend time with some family. It's been a long while since I last saw them (September?).

I think that is one of my big disappointments of my first year in Manila.
When I was preparing to move here I was so excited at the thought of being able to spend time and get to know family here. Growing up in the States, I didn't even meet most of my family here in the Philippines until after I graduated college. I'm really thankful that I've had the chance to meet most of my cousins during different visits to the Philippines. Now that I'm living in the Philippines it's my hope to spend time with them and get to know them.

Unfortunately, in this past year I haven't been able to spend a lot of time visiting with family. In this past year it's felt like I've traveled a lot. And, when I've not been traveling I find that I take my weekends to just veg out -- meaning... stay at home and have movie marathons while wearing my PJs. Hehehe.

I have loved when I've been able to spend time with family. Hopefully, I'll be able to do more of it in the upcoming year!!!
Rivera connections. Starbucks. Brothers Burgers. Yum treat of Crepes and Cream. Nieces and nephews sleep over. George Foreman "toaster." CCF. Day at Podium. Non stop eating and drinking. Heavenly Mary Grace Cheesecake. Pizza and Pasta Dinner. Hearing the testimony of God's faithfulness. Free WiFi Fun.

A Fun Family Day

2009-12-05T16:15:00.003+08:00

Ann and Oliver work with Monsoon. I spent most of the day today with them and their 3 girls.

We took the morning to take some photos of their family and followed their photo session with some fun. We had free donuts at Krispy Kreme, lunch at Trellis, grocery shopping at Metro, and browsing at Fully Booked.

We went to one of my favorite places here -- the Serendra, Market! Market!, High Street area. It was so fun to have "family time" there with them. I enjoyed watching the girls play hide-and-seek. I liked having lunch with a full table with a family around it. It was fun seeing the different personalities of the kids and see which parent they seemed most like. It was a fun day.

I love being able to take photos of people for them. When I was in South Asia, there were some kids who wanted me to take their pictures and asked me to send copies to them. (Eek! I still have to do that!) I want to improve on taking photos so I can give more / better to people. I enjoy doing it. Capturing moments. Sharing images.

Hoping to actually do something about this desire in 2010!

Happy December!!!

2009-12-02T22:17:00.005+08:00

The Philippines does Christmas season... BIG TIME!
The season started in September (during the "...ber" months)!
Christmas music was being played, stores had their Christmas displays up, and we were already getting notices about our office Christmas party!

Tonight felt like the "official" kick-off of the Christmas season here in Ortigas.

"Christmas of Hope" -- the celebratory lighting of 2 huge Christmas trees in the center of the city.
A local band kicked off the celebration playing Christmas carols and other fun tunes. After a few words from local officials, the Christmas lights were switched on, music was played, free food was given out and FIREWORKS were set off!

It was a lot of fun! Kind of made me wish I'd be here for Christmas... but there's always next year! (more about my Christmas plans ... later!)

As always, the challenge this time of year is enjoying the festive mood and celebrations... while remembering and staying focused on the One we're celebrating.

Happy December!
Blessed Advent...

Ok, a pretty horribly taken video off my little camera... but just to give you an idea of what the night was like in Ortigas.

A Thanksgiving Feast

2009-11-26T22:16:00.008+08:00

I just got back from a great Thanksgiving dinner at Dawn and Nate's house.
Even though they just got back from a trip out of the country, they invited the whole bunch of us over for Thanksgiving dinner. What great people, huh?? :)

The dinner was DELICIOUS... turkey, dressing, broccoli salad, jello salad, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and cherry pie. EVERYTHING was absolutely DELICIOUS!!

But honestly, the greatness of the evening wasn't so much in the food (while it was GREAT!!!) as much as it was in everything that the night communicated to me...

The blessings of...

family
friends
home
home away from home
generosity
hospitality
provision
friendship
self-sacrifice
joy in serving others
laughter
the gift of time

Nate read to us a portion of George Washington's Thanksgiving Day proclamation.
It talks about having "a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God..."

That is Thanksgiving -- recognizing and acknowledging our Almighty and Gracious God.
We went around the room and people shared one thing that they were thankful for this past year. I have a lot that I'm thankful for -- especially looking back on this past year. For some reason I didn't share anything. Don't know why... but I'll share now...

I think the biggest thing I am thankful for in this past year is ... I'm never alone.
I find it kind of odd that I'd choose to say that because that truth has been probably the truth I've struggled with most in this past year. That is the thing that God has continued to challenge me with and encourage me in.

Now, believe me... there are a lot of times when I feel alone. There are a lot of times when I even WANT to FEEL alone and throw myself a little pity party.

But, God has in this past year has really been working in me the truth that I'm never alone -- He is always with me and in truth, there is great confidence and joy in that.

He is with me in the hope, promises and truths in His Word.
He is with me in comfort and presence.

And, in His grace... He expresses His love and presence through His people that He surrounds me with. They extend His love graciously in their friendship and their walking with me in life.

God is good.
His love is perfect, unfailing and forever faithful.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

Praise and Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T07:00:00.003+08:00

The Valley of Vision:
A collection of Puritan Prayer and Devotions (p. 15)

O my God,
Thou fairest, greatest, first of all objects,
my heart admires, adores, loves thee,
for my little vessel is as full as it can be,
and I would pour out all that fullness before thee in ceaseless flow.

When I think upon and converse with thee
ten thousand delightful thoughts spring up,
ten thousand sources of pleasure are unsealed,
ten thousand refreshing joys spread over my heart,
crowding into every moment of happiness.

I bless the for the soul thou hast created,

for adorning it, sanctifying it, though it is fixed in barren soil;
for the body thou has given me,
for preserving its strength and vigour,
for providing senses to enjoy delights,
for the ease and freedom of my limbs,
for hands, eyes, ears that do thy bidding;
for thy royal bounty providing my daily support,
for a full table and overflowing cup,
for appetite, taste, sweetness,
for social joys of relatives and friends,
for ability to serve others,
for a heart that feels sorrows and necessities,
for a mind to care for my fellow-men,
for opportunities of spreading happiness around,
for loved ones in the joys of heaven,
for my own expectation of seeing thee clearly.

I love thee above the powers of language to express, for what thou art to thy creatures.

Increase my love, O my God, through time and eternity.

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

- Psalm 100

The View from the Top

2009-11-25T20:01:00.010+08:00

Oh, today was a VERY, VERY FUN day at work!!!!

It was Dawn's birthday on Monday. Kenji's birthday was last month while he was away.
So, today we celebrated the two of them with a surprise birthday party.
Balloons, party hats, food and CAKE! It was a fun lunch time celebration.

After lunch I had a meeting, did some work... and then a call from downstairs!
"Come down, we're having cake, homemade hot fudge and ice cream!"
Two of our colleagues are heading home this Friday and won't be back until after the New Year. They treated us to afternoon merienda as an early Christmas celebration. Oh their homemade hot fudge is INCREDIBLE!!!

I headed back upstairs for a few more hours of work. And then I got distracted... the Christmas lights were turned on outside on the city streets. And, it was beautiful! I took some pictures from out of the window and then decided that the view from up top would probably be better.

So, Rexey and I asked our so friendly and helpful building staff if we could get on the 4th floor. Not only did we get to go to the 4th floor, but Kuya also let us climb up to the upper roof. The view from there was BEAUTIFUL!!! All around us were the buildings and the twinkling city lights. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!

Okay, honestly...I almost missed out on seeing it.

When we got to the 4th floor Kuya pointed to the metal ladder that leads up to the upper roof and said it's better from up there. No problem, I thought. So, I stepped up and started to climb and then all of a sudden started to get fearful. So I stepped down, back to the ground and said never mind.

Rexey was so quick. She got up on the ladder and just made her way up. And when she got to the top I heard her expression -- one that made me feel ... "Oh! I don't want to miss out on that!"

And so... I put down cellphone, my keys, and my camera. I decided I'd get back up on that ladder, climb all the way up -- and see the view for myself. Oh and it was worth the few minutes of nervousness!!! It was beautiful!

Kuya and Rexey were so good at encouraging me when I decided that I would go up (and when I was having a hard time getting back on the ladder to go back down! HAHAH!). I was so glad that they were there to encourage me -- not to push me or force me -- but to sweetly encourage me to not miss out on something great.

I'm thankful that in my life God has put people alongside me and has challenged me with moments like that.
Moments when I have the chance to look at the opportunities, recognize feelings of fear and uncomfortableness, and have the opportunity to choose to move forward or stay stuck.

A fun day.

"Where Are You From?"

2009-11-22T21:06:00.003+08:00

Living in the U.S. I would regularly be asked the questions... "What are you?" "Where are you from?"... the questioner obviously trying to find out my ethnic heritage. Usually I'd make it difficult for them and answer the question with, "I'm a student." or "I was born in Connecticut."

Hahaha! I know... I'm such a meanie!

I grew up with getting those questions constantly. I got used to and came to expect to be asked the question shortly after meeting people. Usually when I was young, people would tell me with insistence, "Oh, you're Chinese." When I'd correct them, they'd still insist because I think during those days, that was all that people were familiar with. OR, they'd give me one of my favorite responses... "Oh, well... you all look alike." (Which... in all fairness, with the diversity of people throughout Asia, it is hard to know where people are from!)

I thought that when I moved to the Asia area, that I'd stop getting asked that question. I'm finding however... I still get asked that question. :)

Today I got into an FX. The driver asked me where I was going and I replied IN TAGALOG.
We exchanged a few other sentences in Tagalog after which he asked, "Where are you from?"
I giggled. I figured it was my Tagalog that prompted that question. It usually is.
I told him that I was born and raised in the States, but that I live here now. And I told him, that I'm Filipino -- my parents were from here in the Philippines.
"Oh! I thought that maybe you're from Singapore or Taiwan."
Hmmm... so it wasn't just my Tagalog, it was my look too??
"Why? Don't I look Filipino??"
"Uh. Well... maybe," he said looking back through his rearview mirror.
I turned and looked at him in the mirror so he could see my face. At which he then said, "Ah. Yes! Ilong Pinoy."

Haha!!!
He basically told me that yes, I did look Filipino because I had the nose of a Filipino.
HAHAH!!!! Oh, my nose!!!!

You have to understand. My brother and I were the only Filipinos in our elementary school -- probably the only Asians. Our neighborhood had families of Italian, Jewish, and other European descents. There just weren't that many Asian families around. I was teased once getting off the school bus because of how I looked.

As a very sensitive young girl I just wanted to be seen as pretty and I wondered if I would ever be seen that way when I looked SOO different from everyone else. Honestly, my nose was a sore-spot for me. I remember trying to use clothes pins to make it taller, narrower. I remember being told not to make certain faces because it would make my nose bigger. While I never really would have done it, I imagined what it would be like to have a nose job. THAT is how self-conscious I was about my nose.

Ah, but today!!! Being told that I have the nose of a Filipino -- there was a sense of pride in my heart when that driver told me that. There was a feeling of belonging. There was a feeling that YES! something to identify me with my heritage!

I get asked pretty frequently what it is like being here in Manila as a Filipino American. I don't really know how to answer that question. I don't have anything to compare it with. Being a Filipino American is just who I am.

But, I do know this. I love being here. I am appreciating the opportunities I have to see how God weaves every bit of me together...my Filipino heritage, my life in America, my citizenship in Heaven ... He uses it all in the formation of who I am. And, I hope to recognize it all, appreciate it all...and glorify God with every bit of me.

So, I've been mistaken for being...
Korean, Thai, Chinese, Indonesian, ... you name it, I've probably been mistaken for it. I actually kind of like it. It kind of makes me feel like I'm "one with" wherever I go.

If you didn't know me... what would your guess be?? :)

Someone to Watch Over Me

2009-11-22T20:42:00.003+08:00

One of the big things that God is continuing to work on in my life is my tendency to be stubbornly independent. In the last couple of years God has been revealing to me over and over again my stubborn independence. I'm not talking about the good, healthy, respectable independent. I'm talking about the attitude of "I will do this on my own," "I don't need anyone to do this," -- that kind of independence.

This past weekend I realized that God has blessed me with lots of people who take good care of me. And, I found... it was a blessing.

While we were traveling, Dawn and I stayed at a hotel that was around the corner from where we had our meetings. Each night someone would have the duty of walking us safely to our place. What a blessing.
When I stayed at my friend's house and got sick, she so kindly fed me just what I needed... even getting me just the right fruit. What a blessing.
When I needed to get to a camera shop to unexpectedly replace a piece of equipment... friends took time out of their busy schedule to travel in busy traffic to accompany me to get everything I needed. What a blessing.
I hopped into an FX this morning to go to church. I was the only one in the FX so I had a nice chat with the driver. When we got to the place where I was going to get off, instead of pulling to the side of the road he made a left turn."Ummm... this is where I'll get off," I reminded him."Yes," the driver replied, "I'll just take you all the way. That way you don't have a hard time walking. I'll just drop you there by the church." What a blessing.
At church, Nanay Lucy kind of took me under her wing introducing me to pretty much all the ladies in the church. One by one she'd take me over to them and introduce me. And when it was time for me to go, she walked me to the door of the church and gave me the "Now, you be careful," talk.What a blessing.

Nice. It IS nice to have someone(s) to watch over me.
I don't think that I always resp0nd with such gratitude. So, it gives me hope that I'm finding these as blessings ... I do believe that God is working in me.

Yummy Cranberry Sauce

2009-11-21T21:54:00.003+08:00

I think that in my family growing up there were some twists in some of the menus for traditional American holidays. I think that mostly on holidays we thought of food we wanted to eat and had that. I remember one Christmas we had lobster. Not exactly the traditional holiday fare. :)

But I think that as we each got more and more exposed to what some of the foods other American families would traditionally have on their tables, we started to enjoy adding them to our holiday meals. Things like... sweet potatoes with marshmallows, green bean casserole, dressing, and... cranberry sauce.

Growing up I don't ever remember having cranberry sauce on our Thanksgiving table. Some time after I graduated from college I went home to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I was surprised when I heard that we HAD to have cranberry sauce --- with the ridges. Wow! Since when?? Apparently at some point we (I think initiated by my sister) added cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving Day menu.

I went to the grocery store today. There on the shelf was a can of Ocean Spray Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce -- ridges and all. I picked it up and tossed it into my cart. I have no idea what I'll eat with it. I won't be cooking a Thanksgiving meal for myself :) But I'll enjoy some ridged cranberry sauce, think of my family, and give thanks for them and all the other many, many blessings God has showered on me.

If you're wondering... there will be no paper turkeys, no pilgrim hats, no deep-fried turkeys, no Macy's parade, no black-Friday shopping craziness, and NO DAYS OFF here in the Philippines. (Hehehe... Pilgrims didn't land over here :))
BUT... there will be the giving of thanks!
And, I will get to enjoy a Thanksgiving Day meal -- I'll join some others at the guest house where we'll share in a holiday meal together (one that I don't have to cook!)

Hope you all have a wonderful HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

A Day Off

2009-11-20T22:11:00.004+08:00

I haven't had a REAL day off in a while.
There was the day while I was away when I was sick... but even that day I did work from home.
So, today I planned to take a REAL day off.

I started out the day packing up a bag to take around with me for the day.
I packed up my computer, my journal, my Bible, my iPod and my little notebook... my little notebook with my list of things to do.

This morning I had updated my little notebook organizing all my tasks into new lists. I ended up with SIX pages of lists organized by clients, miscellaneous work tasks, personal stuff and personal ministry stuff.

I grabbed my bag and headed to my destination -- a nearby hotel where I planned to just getaway. I arrived and found the beautiful spot where I wanted to sit ... unoccupied and in the SHADE! YAY!!!!!

I sat, pulled out my journal and my Bible... and found myself preoccupied with my lists. I pulled out my iPod and stuffed the buds in my ears, blasted some music and tried to drown out my thoughts with the music. It kind of helped.

Maybe if I had left my computer and my little notebook behind it would have been easier to not think about work stuff. DUH! The thing is -- I really do enjoy my work. I really do want to see the things on my list done.

But, my life isn't just work. I need times to REST, to RELAX, to HAVE FUN. I need to just let things go! :)

So, I tried to read more. I journaled some more. After a while, I decided to leave that spot and head to the mall. I went to the bookstore and picked up a new book. I sat and read leisurely as I had my lunch.

After some time I left that mall and went to another mall where I was going to meet my mom's cousin ( I call him my uncle) and his son (I call him my cousin). We sat in a coffee shop and chatted for a while. While my uncle went for a reunion with old coworkers, my cousin and I wandered the mall. We had dinner together (Yay pizza! Oh how I missed you the last few weeks!!), circled the mall a few times and had a fun photo shoot at the movie theater. No, we didn't actually WATCH a movie, just had fun with the posters. Ha!

It ended up being an enjoyable day. A few thoughts that resulted from today...
1 - It shouldn't be so hard to turn OFF the work switch. Why do I find it so difficult?
2 - As much as I liked the little spot of beauty I retreated to today, I miss spreading out on the grass. Guess I'm still looking for my favorite perfect spot here. :(
3 - God is sooo patient with me and all my silliness :)

(NOTE: My fellow photo shoot model is Daryle, son of my Tito Edmond and Tita Knel. The last time I saw him was on my very first trip to the Philippines in 1999. After that trip I prayed that I'd have the chance to return to the Philippines for a long period of time. Thankful for the sweet ways God fulfills our desires in His timing and in His ways.)

What People Must Think...

2009-11-19T20:24:00.003+08:00

Today was a work-out-of-the-office day. I enjoy days like this every once in a while. Sometimes it just helps me to be in a different environment. Sometimes it helps me to work away from everything and everyone so I can just focus and tune everything out but what I'm working on.

I had an appointment this morning over at another office that pretty much kept me busy until lunch time.
I went straight from my appointment over to the mall where I had lunch and did some work.
I have a whole list of things that I need to get to as a result of the trips that I just came back from.
It's the kind of list where I look at it and I'm not exactly sure where to start.

There are some things that are more important and critical. But, they also take a lot of brain power and more time. When I sat down to work today, I just couldn't get myself to start on anything that required ANY brain power. So, I decided to do some work on sorting through photos I took on the trip.

I opened up my folders of images and did some tossing of photos and some tweaking of photos.

I just enjoyed reliving my experiences as I looked through the photos. I laughed a little bit looking at the faces of the cute little kids. I thought about the words they tried to teach me to say and how they laughed at me when I'd say them. I got a little sad as I looked at the photo of the father and son -- and thought of how they are in the midst of a faith battle as the father goes through cancer treatment. I smiled as I looked at the group of siblings that came to the center for worship. I smiled bigger as I remembered when the young brother ran away from us and returned on a bike asking me to take a snap -- full shot -- of him and the bike. Sweet little moments that I got to relive as I opened up each photo.

I was sitting outside of the shop with my iPod buds in my ears and my peppermint mocha frappucino in hand. On the other side of the glass -- pretty much directly across from me -- there was a man eating his lunch. There were a couple of times when I noticed he was facing my way and it seemed like he was trying to figure me out.
Ha! I wonder what he thought I was up to as my facial expressions probably changed every minute or so.

A little bit of me wanted to turn my computer around and face it to him so that I could show off my new friends. But I didn't. He could care less.

I find it's one of the hard things about experiencing things alone. It's hard to try to share about those experiences with others in a way meaningful to me... AND to the those I'm sharing with. And to realize that likely no one will fully appreciate or care about all the details as I do...and that that's okay.

Still learning how to do it well. :)

Time to Process

2009-11-18T00:19:00.005+08:00

Me. My iPod (set to the "As the Deer" Genius playlist). My journal. My Bible. My Lord.

The setting? The Cheesecake, etc. restaurant in The Podium -- dressed up for the Christmas season!

After trips I usually need about a day to mentally and emotionally process my time away. I need concentrated time to think back at what happened, journal, read, pray.

I was gone a long time. I worked pretty much non-stop while I was gone. I got to experience so much. I met a lot of people. I heard a lot of things that were challenging to me. There's a lot to process. :)

I slept in today. It was wonderful.
(Except for that I didn't get to call my parents as I had planned. Sorry, Mommy and Daddy!) After finally waking up and getting ready, I took a couple of hours today to spend some time alone before going into the office for a meeting. I've just skimmed the surface so far.

There are some immediate things that I have to do for work as follow ups from my trips. So, I'll go to work tomorrow and Thursday to complete those things.

Today was good. I was really glad that I got to spend a little time journaling. And, it was great getting to see my friends in the office again.

I'm hoping to take Friday off to finish catching up with myself (and also with my prayer and ministry partners!)

If You're Gone Get Stuck...

2009-11-16T07:08:00.005+08:00

...get stuck at the airport in Singapore!

I got off the plane and headed to the TRANSFER E counter where I was to check in and get my boarding pass for my flight back home to Manila. I had traveled overnight and was asleep pretty much until the lights came on and passengers flew up to get their bags.

Read that as... I'm tired, it's been a long trip ... and I'm ready to be home.

So, there I was at TRANSFER E. A tourist group was gathered at the ticket counter getting all checked in. With their matching red bags, they were a fun and lively group. After they all went through, it was finally my turn to check in.

The nice airline lady greeted me "Good Morning!" in Tagalog. It was so nice to hear it. Made me excited to be back home. She click clicked away on the keyboard and had me checked in.

...But, she couldn't print my boarding pass.
She apologized, but said that the computer system was not allowing her to print my boarding pass. I couldn't fly back to Manila without a ticket out of Manila.

"Huh?"
If you've been following my updates, you know that I've done enough travel in and out of Manila this past year -- it's never been a problem.

"SIGH. I'm not allowed to go back home," I thought.

After asking more questions to understand the situation and making sure they knew the visa I had to be in country, they were able to make a good case to the manager who had the authority to override the system. 30 minutes later, boarding pass printed -- I'm ready to go home.

As she was working it all out and I was doing my normal catastrophizing -- I thought... worse case... I get stuck in Singapore until it gets sorted out. Ha! It would be like a forced vacation. So, if I'm ever going to get stuck anywhere... let it be here. ;)

Because You Loved Me

2009-11-15T16:45:00.002+08:00

I met with a colleague today at a great coffee shop. Very comfy. Cool atmosphere. Free wifi. Great drinks.

We sat and talked for well over two hours. For pretty much the entire time that we were there, they played the song, "Because You Loved Me." I think it was a karaoke CD. It sounded like it was on a cycle of the demo version, the performance track, the performance track with background vocals...and repeat. Regardless... the same song -- over and over and over again.

Probably about an hour into our meeting I joked with my colleague about how they must really love this song. My colleague explained to me that sometimes if the shop doesn't have a lot of variety of music from western culture, they will play what they do have on "repeat." They want to be kind and serve well their visiting customers by playing music that might be familiar to us.

I was touched by that gesture. I mean really, they have to listen to it over and over and over again also! I was also kind of sad (not sure that's the right word) that they felt that they needed to do that... I enjoy listening to music and I would appreciate the chance to hear local music too. But, I guess not all their patrons might feel that way??

*NOTE: not all shops play just one song. I had dinner and dessert one night the other week with friends. One shop had the best mix of Michael Buble-type music and the other had great dance, remix music. :)

Thumbs Up!

2009-11-14T18:00:00.000+08:00

I don't THINK that I typically use the "thumbs-up" gesture in my daily life. At least I'm not aware that I do??
I normally think of it as something a greasy-haired, middle-aged, trying-to-be-cool guy does. Usually it seems cheesy looking to me. (At least when I do it I think I probably look cheesy and geeky).
To me, the thumbs up sign doesn't really give off the cool "Fonzie" "Aaay" vibe that it once had.

So then, why do I find myself giving people the thumbs up sign ... in cultures where it's TOTALLY inappropriate and communicates something entirely different?

No, it doesn't say "Aay" or "Alright" or "Okay" or anything positive -- and I've been advised to NOT use it in certain places. You'd think that would not be a problem since I normally don't give people the thumbs up. But of course not... I find myself in those places giving people a cheesy smile and an enthusiastic thumbs up. UGH!

I think the next time I'm here I'll tie a ribbon around my thumb as a reminder. Ha! :)

Slept Like a Queen

2009-11-14T07:30:00.000+08:00

I think I must be the human equivalent of the mosquito's "Chocolate Buffet."
There is something about my blood that they find incredibly appetizing.

I have shared rooms with people before when I was up all night bothered by the little buggers as they slept soundly. The mosquitos keep me up all night feasting on me and leaving their itchy marks behind. They keep me awake buzzing right into ears.

While I've been here at the Prayer Garden conference center, the room where I'm staying put a sweet little treat under my pillow - a mosquito net. This has been my first time to sleep using one. It's WONDERFUL!!! I've gotten very few bites while I've been here. I am able to sleep without having to pull the covers up over my head and ears to keep those noisy little guys from my ears.

It's pretty handy. They had hooks on the walls so it's all ready to hang. Climbing into bed it makes me feel like I'm a baby in a playpen, I'm like in a death bed (don't know why it makes me feel that way) AND... the image I prefer... a queen in her royal bed. Hahaha!

Go Figure!

2009-11-13T23:45:00.001+08:00

Tonight, I was standing around talking with a group of girls while waiting for movie night to begin.
I used one of the girls’ names in conversation and all of a sudden it became the “test-Aileen-on-her-name-recall” game.

As I went around the circle, I surprised myself as I remembered each of their names…
“Papri… Tonni… Sika (which I think I’ve been pronouncing correctly as Cheek-ah) … oooh… drawing a blank…”
I tried the whole A…B…C… nothing.
One of her friends stood behind her trying to give me clues to help me out.
Nope. Not triggering anything.

Finally, they splurt her name out for me.
The name I forgot?
SYLVIA.
Yes, go figure! I remember the new names that are unfamiliar to me … and forget good ol’ Sylvia!

Only Imagine...

2009-11-13T18:00:00.001+08:00

During my time in Orlando, there were a few months (maybe even several? – or maybe it just felt that way:) ) when one of my friends, Craig, was working on editing a music video using the then-popular, “I Can Only Imagine,” by Mercy Me.

At that time we both would get to work pretty early. He’d edit in the production room with the door open and he’d have the volume up loud.

There are various stages of love / hate with production music I think. When you find just the right music … love it. As you’re starting to work with it … love it. When you find just the right footage to go at just the right spots … love it. When you have played it – or more phrases of it -- over and over and over and over again … hate it. Okay, maybe it’s not HATE, but you definitely could probably go without ever hearing it again.

After hearing it millions of times over, Craig did a beautiful job with that piece.

Today, I got to watch it with about 200, 18-25 year olds… in South Asia!!

I wasn’t actually in the meeting room when I heard the first opening notes. I was walking towards the cooking area when I heard the first three notes. Immediately I thought … it’s “Only Imagine!” I turned around, ran up the stairs, walked into the room, saw the cloud graphics… and got chills. There was just something about seeing a room full of young people in this country watching a video that was done by one of my friends – clear on the other side of the world. Who knows how God may have or will use that short piece to inspire something new in one of those young students' lives.

As I watched it, it made me think to my days back in Orlando and how grateful I am to have had that time there – and for all the people who were a part of that experience. And, for making my present experiences possible through their example and encouragement… among many other things.

Door One OR Door Two

2009-11-12T07:20:00.000+08:00

I really like where we're staying for the conference and I'm grateful that there was enough room for me to stay here for the week instead of commuting each day.

The room is very nice and very comfortable. There's AC, a ceiling fan, nice comfortable beds (with mosquito nets!) and private bathrooms. Yes... bathrooms. There are two bathrooms you can choose from!

Behind door one is a bathroom more typical in some of the Asian countries we visit. There is a shower in this bathroom, but there's also a bucket for bucket showers.

Behind door two is a typical western bathroom with toilet and shower.

This is the first time I've been some place with TWO bathrooms in the room!

What I'm especially happy about regarding the bathrooms ... there's HOT WATER. :)

Moving Again...

2009-11-11T01:55:00.005+08:00

I was supposed to stay at my friend, Catherine's, for the week.
Yesterday, however, I found out that the location of the conference I'm attending is over an hour and a half away.
So, I got a week's worth of clothing from the visitor's closet (Muriel's Closet), ironed it all, got some snacks, packed up my stuff last night and will move over to the conference center housing today. I'll stay there until the end of the conference.

On its own the commute isn't too bad. What makes it difficult to manage? The conference starts EARLY and ends LATE. Meaning...I'd have to go there EVEN EARLIER... and leave from there EVEN LATER. As much as I appreciate my friend's hospitality and enjoy staying at her place... better I stay nearby the conference itself.

What conference am I attending?
The Students Mission Conference! Over 200 students (young adults ages 18-25) will attend this conference where they will get to hear about missions and be challenged to participate themselves. It is one of the first EVER of this size in the country. EXCITING!!!

So, why am I attending?
Well, I'm not really attending. I'll be helping out one of the teams that is organizing this conference. I'll be helping them with taking some photos and working with some volunteers they have. Together we'll interview some of the student participants, speakers, local church leaders, and conference organizers for videos they will produce in the future.

Yay! Exciting!

Another exciting thing??? While I was at the store getting some snacks I found some Tim Tams. YUMMMY!!! Yes, I'm feeling better :)

A Day to Rest

2009-11-09T19:29:00.003+08:00

I arrived at my friend's house at about 5:00 PM Sunday afternoon.
Yes, over 16 hours of travel.
I started to feel a little funny at the airport when we landed.
Surely it was just the need for some sleep and a shower, I thought.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening... in the bathroom. SIGH.
Not fun!
You know, if I'm going to be doing all this travel, my stomach better toughen up! (I've always had a sensitive stomach. Missed many classes during college because of eating something bad at a restaurant).
My theory -- I ate something bad on the plane??? I felt fine before I left :)

I woke up this morning and still wasn't feeling great so I decided to stay home to rest. I'm glad I did. I got a lot of sleep, spent more time in the bathroom, started to eat a little bit... and now I'm starting to feel a little better.

I also got to take some time to look through some of the photos from my trip. I think back on the week I had... I feel good about it. One thing I asked people to pray for was that God would be present. That He would inspire our thinking and guide and direct our time together. I totally believe that prayer was answered. I am thankful - so thankful!

At the same time I wish I could have done more. As I looked through photos it made me think... I wish I had talked more with people. I look at the photos and think there's so much more I could learn about them... from them. SIGH - oh well... lesson learned??

I'm posting some photos on my facebook and flickr pages... hope you enjoy them!

Night Driving

2009-11-08T05:30:00.000+08:00

The drive from where I was staying to the airport was 4 hours long.
I was picked up around 11:30 PM. Thankfully, I've been gifted with the ability to sleep pretty much anywhere. So, I got into the front passenger seat (on the left side of the car, by the way), buckled the seat belt, and sat back for my four-hour nap. For the most part, the ride was fine.

I could feel the car swerving in and out of traffic. I could feel the quick acceleration and quick stops as the driver would pass trucks and quickly get back in line with the approach of oncoming traffic. Most of the time I slept through it.

I was asleep when I felt the car coming to a FAST stop. My body jerked forward into the seat belt and my eyes snapped open. Right in front of my window hundreds and hundreds of little beady eyes. It took me a minute to wake up and figure out what was happening -- and what I was seeing. A truck loaded with live chicken... and we were driving right into it. I know my eyes must have gotten five times bigger. I imagined us crashing into the truck, the windshield giving way -- and me with hundreds of these little chicken with their little beady eyes squawking in my face.

But, that was just my imagination. Our driver was an expert driver speeding us along through the night traffic. We stopped millimeters away from the back of truck and I got to just watch the little guys from a distance.

... until our driver decided it was ready to pass them and move us along.

Getting ready...

2009-11-06T23:04:00.003+08:00

to say goodbye.

I'm finishing up my stay here.
In a little over 24 hours I'll be heading back to the airport to take off for my next destination in South Asia.

I've had a great week here.

While I love going to new places, meeting new people and enjoying new experiences, I do find it difficult -- the constant leaving of places. It's almost like I'm distributing myself ... leaving bits and pieces of me along the way. It's kind of a weird feeling spending so much concentrated time in a place with people... and then just up and leaving. When will I come back again? Will I come back again?

I look back at my week here and am grateful for all I got to experience.
I have felt so welcomed and have enjoyed so much getting to know the people here. I have loved their warm hospitality and friendship. I loved getting to "talk" with the kids -- even as they laughed at me trying to learn words in their languages. :)
I absolutely LOVED the weather!! It was so wonderful being able to sit outside in the cool temperatures to enjoy morning and afternoon tea time. I loved walking home at night and looking up in the sky and actually seeing stars.
OH! AND I LOVED THE FOOD!!! While I've had this kind of cuisine stateside, it's totally different experiencing it here.

So much about this trip I've really enjoyed. The greatest joy has been the privilege of meeting men and women from around this nation who are passionate about God...and people. Totally committed. :) I love the thought that now when I'm in Manila, or in PA... I can think and pray for my brothers and sisters in this country... and have faces, names, stories -- flesh, blood and hearts in mind.

So yes, it is difficult going from place to place. It is difficult to feel so distributed at times... but I am thankful that I get to do it. Each time I leave a place, I get to take the experiences and the people with me.

... and hopefully I'm just saying goodbye to this place... for now.

Seeing the World

2009-11-03T21:02:00.005+08:00

I may not get to see this place as the rest of the world sees it.
There won’t be any trips to tourist spots.
I won’t travel to landmarks or other “must-sees.”

But God, I’m so thankful for how I do get to see it.
You’ve given me the privilege of seeing it…

• around the table each day, eating meals with families and new friends from different parts of this nation
• in the faces of new friends as they tell me their stories of family and faith
• in the friendly guard who greets me good morning as I walk by
• in the sweet, sweet face of baby Ruthie as she hands me a piece of candy
• in walks and talks (walkie-talkie the girls teach me :))
• in learning about the struggles, and hearing about the victories and miracles
• in sitting with the women and rolling out the chapati
• in seeing the hearts and convictions, and hearing the dreams
• in seeing the smiles and hearing the laughter
• in watching the children run and fly their kites
• in the compassion of a son, caring for his father as he undergoes cancer treatment
• in witnessing worship … passionate worship!

God, give me your eyes, ears and heart – to see, hear and love the world and people around me as you do.

Go. Go. Go!

2009-10-27T22:15:00.003+08:00

My bags are packed. I think I'm ready.
Tomorrow morning I'll head into the office to pick up a few things (including my passport!) and will head to the airport at 9:30 AM.

I'm a bundle of emotions.

I'm incredibly excited.
I'm looking forward to visiting a new place! I'm definitely excited about meeting the people there. I'm excited about experiencing the culture, the food... everything!

I'm nervous.
I'm going to a new place! I'm nervous about finding the connections I'll need to make. I'm nervous about how I'll adjust to the food, the environment... and the people. I'm nervous about how well I'll do with sharing helpful, useful information.

Mostly, in all honesty, I feel like I'm playing a little "out-of-my-league."
But I'm going prepared, ready and willing.
Praying that He will give me all the wisdom, all the ability, all the knowledge as I go.
Praying that as I offer all that I have and all that I can, that He will accept my offering, find it pleasing -- and use it all beyond my limitations, my lackings, and my faults ...

Seeing Change

2009-10-20T20:06:00.001+08:00

January 28, 2009, my good friends, Emily and Marshall, had their first baby!
My buddy, Alexander, helps me keep track of how long I've been in the Philippines. The day after he was born, I boarded a plane to head to Manila!! Fun!!

Emily does a great job at keeping all her friends and family updated on Alex through their blog. I love it! I get to see how big he's gotten. I get to hear about all the things he's doing. She shares about the things he's learning and all the fun little personality traits he's developing. I love that I can see how he's growing up even though I don't live nearby anymore!!!
Post to post I can visibly see how much he's changed. Look at the cutie!!!

I wish that change, learning and growth would be as clearly recognizable in my life as it is in his! :)

Alex and I are heading to our ONE YEAR mark. ONE YEAR!!
I can quickly see how he's grown and changed in this year.
Unfortunately, I can't as easily see how (if) I've grown and changed in this same amount of time.

For the last week or so I've been having a rough time. I don't know what it is, but I've just had more moments when I've felt more sad, more lonely, more alone (i think that they are different), more homesick, more unsure of how I'm doing at work, more uncertain of if I'm making a difference in anything by being here, more questioning of everything, more aware of how I've not yet learned things I've wanted to learn, more aware of how I've not yet done things I've wanted to do by now, more aware of how disconnected I am from friends and family back home...

I do believe that I have been learning and growing over the past year. Sometimes though, it just doesn't feel that way. At times like this I wish I could see things more clearly... more visibly.

In the meantime, I'll continue to track with my cute, little buddy, Alex -- and enjoy watching and seeing all the little milestones and marks of growth in his life and be encouraged by the little guy. :)

GONE!

2009-10-19T18:38:00.006+08:00

A few months ago I blogged about a special way that God has encouraged me with a little bit of beauty in the middle of the city.

Every morning on my walk into the office I'd look at the bunch of flowers and smile, sigh a little, and just say a little word of thanks to God. Seeing the flowers there was just a sweet little something that reminded me that I'm not alone and that I'm cared for and remembered by a very thoughtful and generous Heavenly Father. To me it's like someone knowing me sooo well and giving me the most perfect gift ever -- everyday!

Last Wednesday I was walking to work and was a little surprised when I turned the corner and saw my love plant. "Wow! So many bright, pink flowers! It's getting so tall! It's so full!! How beautiful!" And I said my little word of thanks to God for that little beautiful, bright spot. And for some reason that day, I said too to Him -- "Sigh, one day they're going to have to get rid of it... but I won't forget. I know that even when these flowers aren't there that it doesn't change anything of what it has helped me to remember. You'll still love me. You're still with me. You're still a great gift giver."

Well... wouldn't you know it. The very next day I turn the corner and GONE! MURDERED I SAY!
My little love plant was cut down. It was no more.

But... there on the sidewalk by where my love plant used to stand -- one lone flower. So, I stooped down as I walked past the spot and picked it up.SIGH. Goodbye love plant.

"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." - Isaiah 40:8

LORD...

2009-10-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

"Lord, teach me to listen. The times are noisy and my ears are weary with the thousand raucous sounds which continuously assault them. Give me the spirit of the boy Samuel when he said to Thee, 'Speak, for Thy servant heareth.' Let me hear Thee speaking in my heart. Let me get used to the sound of Thy voice, that its tones may be familiar when the sounds of earth die away and the only sound will be the music of Thy speaking voice. Amen."

- Tozer, A.W., The Pursuit of God (82).

Prep Work

2009-10-11T18:45:00.004+08:00

These pictures were taken on the day we left for the WWSE.
The day our flight took off was the day the 2nd typhoon was expected in the area.
The taxi ride from home to the airport was evidence of the dreaded anticipation of the storm's arrival.

These iron grids are usually covered with huge billboards.
When storms are expected they're taken down.
The whole route long very few (if any??) billboards were seen.

While I was away I lost track of what storms came, which ones passed, and where storms actually hit.
I'm living in Manila... and I lost track.

Coming back to Manila and watching some of the local programming I am reminded... the storm's destruction is still very real. People are still putting their lives back together. There are still areas flooded. There are still people in need of food, clothing and shelter. Whole areas have been destroyed and will need to be rebuilt.

I'm living in Manila... Lord, help me to not lose track.

Back Home... Feeling Blessed.

2009-10-11T18:23:00.004+08:00

It is good ... soo good to be home.

I arrived in Manila a little after 2 pm yesterday.
When I got back to my apartment I quickly unpacked (yes, I always unpack immediately upon getting home...), cleaned my kitchen (I evidently forgot to take out the kitchen trash before I left -- and my apartment smelled like it) -- and then stayed in bed until this afternoon.

I ended my week at WWSE -- sick. Unfortunately, I started to not feel too well on Thursday evening. I ended up spending the night in the bathroom. I decided to not attend the meetings on Friday and slept pretty much the entire day.

Thankfully, I was already starting to feel better as we journeyed 2 hours by bus to the airport... and then another 4 in the plane. But boy, was I ready to be home!

I am now feeling much better. Back to normal... I think.

Because I've not been feeling well, I haven't done much processing of the week.
I still need to do that.
But a quick thought...

I AM BLESSED.

Blessed...

by my roommates from this past week who loved on me with their words of encouragement, their prayers, and their feeding me when I was sick.
by friends here and far away who care about how I'm doing, check in on me, and help me in so many ways.
with partners in ministry who have made every experience I've had a possibility.
to have God's Word to turn to at all times.
to have had a free hour to run around the town during the conference to take photos!
to have had some time to rest and get better.
to have a home that is safe, clean, and undamaged to return to...

WWSE Day 3:

2009-10-06T17:55:00.003+08:00

So much from today was incredibly inspiring. I sat in workshops about HIV/AIDS, Scripture in Times of Crisis, and one on Holistic Engagement.

Wow! God is really doing AMAZING things. And He is using incredible people to do these things.
Incredibly, people who are normal, ordinary, day-to-day people!
Inspiring. Motivating. Challenging.

There is so much to say... but this will have to do for now.

OH!! And this...MAGNUM!!

Love it!!!
I told the man at the mini shop here at the conference center that he'll be seeing me everyday so I can have my Magnum bar.
He laughed.
I was serious.

WWSE Day 2:

2009-10-05T18:05:00.003+08:00

Today was a long day.

The first day of meetings. Very encouraging things.
One thing I'm excited about for the week is the assigned small group I'm in.
I am assigned to Small Group #2. Around our table are hearing and Deaf individuals from all over the world. We have sign language interpreters for Costa Rican Sign Language, Korean, Japanese and American Sign Language. Cool. I'm enjoying learning from and with this group.

I know that throughout this day there were a lot of good things discussed and many things to consider. BUT, all things today were blurred by the news I got during one of the morning sessions.

One of my friends is here at the conference. She told me yesterday that she wanted to talk to me. Today she told me -- a mutual friend of ours is home, in the hospital, sick with cancer -- it's serious and far along. SIGH.

Sometimes I just don't understand. And you know what? I really, really hate cancer. Is it okay for me to say that?

Yes, I know that God uses all things together for good. Yes, I know that God is sovereign. I just don't understand.

But, I guess that's the thing. I can't understand everything. I won't ever.
But, I can focus on understanding God's goodness, His faithfulness, His care, His provision, His everything... and rest on that.

Praying.
Hoping.
Believing.

WWSE: Switching Gears

2009-10-04T21:38:00.002+08:00

So, last week I was in Antique, celebrating the launching of the New Testament and gathering stories of how the community has been involved in the work of not just translating the Scriptures, but also seeing the people of the community using, learning from and being transformed by the Scriptures.

The week was action packed. We started our days early in the morning, and worked through the day and into the night. The days were filled with meeting lots of people, taking photos and conducting interviews. We were up and about... and it was fun.

This week I'm ... in meetings.
Usually the word "meetings" drags on me.
I think of ...

sitting in a room that's way too cold from the AC.
sitting in the same room for eight hours straight.
smiling and nodding at people who I've met before at other meetings while trying my hardest to remember "who is that again?"
or worse... being on the other awkward side of that greeting and having to remind people of who I am.
spending 8 hours in meetings and then an additional how many hours post-meetings catching up on "real" work
being in a new country or city and the whole time just seeing the backs of people's heads and the hotel conference room decor.

The meetings don't officially start until tomorrow. So today I got to roam a bit with my new friends from PNG (Senena and Badi) and mentally and emotionally start to switch gears from last week's experience to this week's meetings.

We had a brief opening session this evening.
What I heard and saw has encouraged me and is helping with the gear-switching.
There are over 250 participants gathered here representing 105 different organizations.
Among us we represent 43 nationalities serving in 55 different countries.
And there are 51 people serving on an international or regional level (including me).

We come together this week to network and connect... to learn... to exchange ideas... to be challenged... to be transformed. All those here have a heart and passion for God's Word and wanting to maximize the exposure and engagement of people worldwide with God's Word.

I'm so looking forward to hearing about the ways people are working and seeing the exchange of ideas among the people here.

And personally, I'm eager to be challenged by God this week.
A pastor who prayed for the group said that this really is about each one of US, our relationships and our encounters with the Lord. He asked us to think..."Is the Word of God dwelling in each of US richly as we seek to see it so in others?"

THAT is a question I've been wrestling with over this last week. As I've witnessed the eagerness and excitement of the Kinaray-a as they received His Word in their language, I've been challenged and convicted about my own passion for His Word (or lack of?). SIGH.

Pray for what God has in store this week -- for me personally -- and especially for the group gathered.

WWSE Day 1:

2009-10-04T01:25:00.001+08:00

Conference Life.

Most anyone serving in this organization who has attended a conference or two could probably relate to this experience.

The oh-too-familiar scene of first meeting the roommates.

Arrived around midnight at the hotel.
Checked in and was told that my friends were already checked in and in the room.

"My friends?" I asked.
"Yes, the two women are already there. They have the keys," replied the friendly check-in guy.

I asked for their names. Neither sounded familiar to me.
So, I figured that they were my assigned roommates for the week so I headed over to the room.
I was hesitant thinking... "Who would open the door at this hour to a stranger?"

I arrived at the room and rang the bell... once... twice... three times.
"Oh this is horrible. They're legitimately asleep ... I don't want to wake them up."

So I went back down to the desk and asked if there was another set of keys that I could have to let myself in.
"We have two sets, ma'am and they were given to the first two parties."
"Great," I thought.

So the man gets the master key and a security man to let me in the room.
We make the walk back to the building, up the escalator to the 3rd floor and over to the room.
Security man rings the bell... once...twice...KNOCK...KNOCK..."Security."

He put the key in the lock, turned the knob... URGH!
Swinging door latch.
Denied.

All I want is a bed and a good night's sleep.
I was starting to picture myself camped out in the lobby for the night.

I reason with the guy -- "Who is going to open the door at this hour?"
But he persisted.
After more knocks... more rings... and more calling out "Security," a set of eyes peeked out of the slit between to door and the door jam.

He tells the woman, "Your friend," and motions in my direction.
Surely she thought the same thing I did, "My friend?" Hahah.

So I stepped in line of view and told her..."Hi. (head down in embarrassment) I'm assigned to stay in this room with you for the WWSE conference."

And with that, the door was shut, the door latch swung open and I got to meet my new friends.

They had no idea that there was going to be a third roommate assigned to the room. So they locked up and went to sleep. And I woke them from their much deserved sleep.
After having travelled overnight from Port Morsby, Papua New Guinea, the last thing they needed was some girl waking them up in the middle of the night to let her in. But, I'm grateful they did wake up ... and they welcomed me so graciously. What kind, gracious, new friends!!!

I'm looking forward to getting to know these new friends from PNG, serving with BTA (Bible Translation Association).

Pack... unpack... pack again.

2009-10-03T08:37:00.003+08:00

I came home Wednesday night.
I unpacked my Antique stuff, did some laundry, and...packed up my bags again.

In a few hours I'll leave to meet some colleagues at their house and we'll catch a taxi together to head over to the airport to catch our flight out.

I think the hardest thing about my job is the exact same thing I love about my job... the travel.

I love visiting new places. I love meeting people from all over. I love being able to have new experiences. I love getting new glimpses of God from other perspectives and new experiences.

What is hard about it... is leaving. Leaving this place and that. And especially constantly leaving Manila. It's like I'm constantly pressing the "pause" button on life here. Relationships. Church. Community.

I think I feel it most significantly this time around. Flooding happened while I was AWAY in Antique. I came back for just two days. And I'm taking off again. I have this desire to be HERE with people to go through this WITH them -- even if it is being with them waiting for the next storm.

But, I'm boarding a plane this afternoon. And I will remember a word of encouragement from one of our ICC leaders...
"This, today, is where God wants me."

And I'll continue to pray for wisdom to know how to invest well in the relationships, people, places, etc. in this life I live.

So... off to get ready and go! See you on the other side :)

On taking photos...

2009-10-03T08:11:00.004+08:00

I try to think about things to learn or improve on after each time I take a bunch of photos (or anything really). This trip was PACKED with learning lessons (on not just taking photos... but EVERYTHING!).

Here is just one thing I want to remember and the photographic evidence of it...

PAY ATTENTION TO MY SURROUNDINGS!

Sometimes I get so focused on a photo that I want to capture and I forget to pay attention to what is going on around me or what's available to me around me.

For example...
While at the school I was with a group of girls in the playground area. I wanted to get a shot with the girls' faces circling around me. Unfortunately, I'm pretty much their same height so it was hard to really get enough above the girls faces.

Now, if I had taken time to "pay attention to my surroundings," I would have remembered that there was a bench just a few feet away (see it behind the girls??) and I could have easily gotten them above me and in a perfect circle.

URGH! URGH! URGH!
... and getting in the shot with them would have been a lot easier too!

Oh the lessons to learn! :)

All the Single Ladies...

2009-10-01T10:11:00.004+08:00

This is another favorite face in Antique.

During my last trip to Antique, Ann and I visited with Pastor and Mrs. Cabaya in their home. With them was Ate Emma.

This woman is so incredibly warm and sweet spirited. During our visit she walked us all the way to the main street in the hot, hot, hot heat so she could shade us with her umbrella. There is something about her that makes me happy. She is full of His JOY.

I was so happy when I saw her again at the dedication and also at church on Sunday. Her smile is sooo filled with love and joy -- it's awesome.

I was flipping through photos on my camera and showed a photo I took of her to Mrs. Alentajan (Pastor Larry's wife). She mentioned that she's always been a single lady.

Ah. A kindred spirit then :) hehehe.

But seriously. I struggle with being single. There -- it's out... the truth.

Yes, I choose to be content. (I try to anyway.)
Yes, I choose to live my life fully without reservation NOW. (I try to anyway.)
Yes, I know God's plan, provision and timing is all perfect. (Although I often have to remind myself of it.)
And yes, I do want to be married and have a family. I leave that to the Lord. (At times I wrestle to let it go, but I try to leave it with Him.)

If it turns out I'm "always a single lady" -- I hope I'm like her. Full of JOY and LOVE -- giving of myself with warmth, a sweet spirit and generosity.

What would I cling to?

2009-10-01T07:37:00.002+08:00

Saturday evening I got a text message from my cousin's wife asking for prayer.
My cousin, Raffy, was stuck in the floods here in Metro-Manila on the roof of his car -- already getting chills and no sign of rescue on its way.

Later, she posted this video on her facebook...

"This was the song my husband kept singing to himself during the flood!"
"Ralph got stranded and he swam to get home. He tried to stay on top of his car but the flood god too high and too strong so he spent the night balancing on a ladder. He just got home yesterday (Sunday)."

Praising God for the safety of my family, friends, and their families. Praying for His comfort and strength for those putting the pieces of life back together -- with the hovering anticipation of another storm on its way. Praying His HOPE, PEACE and PROVISION over their lives.

ANTIQUE DAY SEVEN:

2009-09-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

Goodbyes.

Early morning on the beach. Camp Agape. Translation team devotions. Fun on the beach. Last of the interviews. Head home to Manila.

Okay, I've done pretty well at keeping these two singular moments for each day. But, for this day I will deviate from my pattern and will share two...okay three. But they will be short, I promise. :)

Standout moment(s) from the day...

My morning with my camera.
All throughout this week I've enjoyed the moments I've been able be behind my camera. I find myself talking to the Lord asking that He give me the ability to see moments and emotions to share with others in photos I take. I've loved being able to do that this week.

This morning we went out to the beach where the fishing boats were getting prepared to go out. There was something about standing in the rushing water with my camera taking notice of these little moments in the lives of the people there. People lining the shore -- men and women working incredibly hard. Others getting a more relaxed start to their day. Tousled hair guy drinking his morning cup of coffee while watching the young guys carry in the night's catch. Two sisters playing in the water - splashing each other in the face. Three kids making little sand pies.

I know that these are just tiny,tiny moments in their lives. Insignificant to them probably. But to me, it was incredibly joy-filled.

Devotions.
The translation team gathers together for devotions at 8 in the morning. They let us join them so we could take some photos and video of their time together.

I enjoyed seeing them gather together in this way. The team of four who have led a lot of the efforts in translating the scriptures and getting them to the people in Antique -- gathered in prayer, sharing and singing. As I watched and listened to them sing together hymns in Kinaray-a, I thought about the group, the weekend they just had... and thought what a bittersweet moment.

Here after 7 years of working together, they have reached an exciting milestone. Work will continue in this community ... now the Kinaray-a HAVE the New Testament ... in a way it's just beginning. But, what does God have planned for these individuals? I overheard one of them praying -- praying for what's next for each one. I have to believe that God has some pretty equally great things ahead for them as they walk with Him in faith and obedience as they have been.

I love the beach.
Have I mentioned how much I love being out in God's creation? If you've missed that... I love it ... I crave it.

The last thing that had to be done at Camp Agape before heading out was getting some final statements from Ate Bea (lead translator and consultant). The video crew took Ate Bea out to the beach (just a short walk from the camp!). I couldn't resist. I let them do what needed to be done... and I went and played in the water. I couldn't REALLY, REALLY play since we were going to board a plane a few hours later. But, I got to pick up more stones, get the sand in between my toes, soak up the sun, and splash around in the water a little.

I loved it. It was nice to just end a long, activity-packed week with a little fun. [BIG SMILE!]

Where to begin?

2009-09-30T23:04:00.002+08:00

For the last week I have been in Antique, Philippines.

During this week we celebrated with people from all over the world, the launching of the New Testament in the Kinaray-a language. We met so many people who so generously gave of themselves to share with us their stories of God at work in their lives. The week was filled with awesome experiences.
So much to share. So much to process.

The day that we gathered and joyously celebrated and gave thanks for the New Testament in the Kinaray-a language, rains were falling over Manila.

Flooding came quickly and was disastrous.

That night, I received a text from my cousin's wife asking for prayer for my cousin. He was stranded in flood waters overnight -- on the roof of his car.
We learned that homes of my friends and family were flooded -- some up to 5 ft. high -- forcing people to the second floor of their homes. Many left without food and drinking water.

It was an incredible JOY being in Antique and being able to be a witness to the lives of faithfulness and love for the Lord. But at the same time while were there, I felt sadness and concern.

It was easy to not fully realize the gravity of the situation back here in Manila. Now that I'm back, I'm starting to learn more about what's been going on with friends and family. But even still, I know that I don't really get how bad it is.

Soooooo much to process.

ANTIQUE DAY SIX:

2009-09-29T23:45:00.001+08:00

Direction. Hope. Acceptance.

Interviews with Nanay Joysisima. Lunch at the beach. Ocean-wet pants to go to the high school! High school visit. Visit to Pastor Tandog's jail ministry.

So, this will reveal how I am so very much hungry for attention and acceptance. :) But, it was a moment that really just touched me and it is my ...

Standout moment from the day...
I think the last time I got a note passed to me was... in high school?? Nope. I take that back. I did have a note passed to me once during a comm class I had in Weimer Hall. Anyway... it's been a loooonnnngggg time.

This afternoon we visited a high school where one of the local pastors teaches a values course using the Kinaray-a language and the scriptures. While Pastor Tandog was outside of the class with the video crew, I was inside snapping photos of the class. I made a comment and could tell right away that I was entertaining them with my "accent." Hahaha. I asked them to guess where I was from... Korea, Japan, Thailand... Australia even!

When the class was dismissed they came out and found me... asked me lots of fun questions and took me to the playground to let me take pictures of them. They danced and sang for me. It was fun. As I left them to go back up to join the rest of the team, one of the girls passed me a note "as a remembrance." Awwww....

A little while later our team was sitting in (what i think was) the cafeteria (or snack room?). The group of girls were standing in the doorway and were being shy to come in. Pastor Tandog said that they wanted to give me something "as a remembrance." And so I was handed TWO MORE notes!

How sweet! It was cute... little notes with drawings and their names... telling me they think I'm beautiful and that they miss me. Awwww... sweet! :)

Yes, I'll take what I can get... love notes from groups of high school girls. Hehehe!
Love it...so sweet!!!