Seeing Change

January 28, 2009, my good friends, Emily and Marshall, had their first baby!
My buddy, Alexander, helps me keep track of how long I've been in the Philippines. The day after he was born, I boarded a plane to head to Manila!! Fun!!

Emily does a great job at keeping all her friends and family updated on Alex through their blog. I love it! I get to see how big he's gotten. I get to hear about all the things he's doing. She shares about the things he's learning and all the fun little personality traits he's developing. I love that I can see how he's growing up even though I don't live nearby anymore!!!
Post to post I can visibly see how much he's changed. Look at the cutie!!!

I wish that change, learning and growth would be as clearly recognizable in my life as it is in his! :)

Alex and I are heading to our ONE YEAR mark. ONE YEAR!!
I can quickly see how he's grown and changed in this year.
Unfortunately, I can't as easily see how (if) I've grown and changed in this same amount of time.

For the last week or so I've been having a rough time. I don't know what it is, but I've just had more moments when I've felt more sad, more lonely, more alone (i think that they are different), more homesick, more unsure of how I'm doing at work, more uncertain of if I'm making a difference in anything by being here, more questioning of everything, more aware of how I've not yet learned things I've wanted to learn, more aware of how I've not yet done things I've wanted to do by now, more aware of how disconnected I am from friends and family back home...

I do believe that I have been learning and growing over the past year. Sometimes though, it just doesn't feel that way. At times like this I wish I could see things more clearly... more visibly.

In the meantime, I'll continue to track with my cute, little buddy, Alex -- and enjoy watching and seeing all the little milestones and marks of growth in his life and be encouraged by the little guy. :)