"My times are in YOUR hands..."

I have to keep reminding myself of that.

I am at times sooo eager to be in the Philippines and to be doing the job that waits for me there. At times I think I'm a little too eager.

The last few nights I have had a hard time falling asleep. It's likely because of busy days and caffeine. During my sleepless hours I've been thinking a lot about what it's going to be like.

• What will my apartment be like?
• Where will I go to church?
• Will I be able to make some good friends there?
• Will I ever be able to understand and speak Tagalog when I'm over there?
• How long will it be before I see my stateside family?
• How will I handle traveling through the city?
• Will I go through culture shock?
• How bad will it be???
• Will I enjoy my job?
• Will I really be successful in my new role?
• Will I like living in the Philippines?

I wonder what life in Manila will be like and start to feel like... "God, can't I just be there living these questions out already??!!"

And then I have to remind myself that I have to "rest in the sovereignty of God." I heard that phrase last week from one of Wycliffe International's leaders and it seemed to reflect well my current desire. I want to rest in His sovereignty.

There are things that God is doing right now, right where I am today ... to prepare me for what's next. He's allowing me to have time to spend with family. He's providing opportunities for me to share about this ministry. He's developing a strong team to partner with me in ministry. He's giving me this time during which I could be soaking in His Word and be in prayer (oh, that I really would take advantage of this time in this regard!)

I need to recognize that this season in my life is a gift. In so many ways it is a time of true preparation for what's next. And I'm learning that this time isn't just about being a stepping stone. This time in itself is valuable. This time in itself is a time to draw closer to God and hopefully look more like Jesus.

I need to not be toooo anxious and eager for what's next that I miss out on what I can be experiencing and learning now.

I AM excited about being in Manila. Just learning to wait with patience and filled with contentment and joy for the present.

This past May I had the opportunity to visit my future work place. In Ortigas Center in Pasig City, Philippines -- a desk awaits my arrival.