Well, after my computer crashed I've finally gotten it back and I'm back up ... and slowly getting things back in shape. I'm in "crawl" mode right now.

Unfortunately, the computer folks were unable to retrieve anything from my hard drive (without me shelling out a whole lot of money to do it!). So I'm piecing my life back to together again. I'm trying to find whatever digital files I may have on random thumb drives, in my personal email account and on my external hard drive (that I obviously didn't use to its full capacity!!)

I pretty easily let this discourage me. I immediately had the feeling of "Why me??" I was upset at myself, upset at my computer and the entire technology industry ... and began to feel like everything in my life is UNFAIR.

But then perspective set in...
I lost computer files. That's it.
I lost some records of people who partner with me in ministry. I haven't lost those partners. I lost emails from friends with words of encouragement and affirmation. I haven't lost those friends... or the truths they have imparted to my mind and heart. I have lost a few photos from the last couple of months -- during my mom's leukemia journey. I haven't lost the memories, the lessons or the moments that we've been sharing together.

As I look around my circle of friends and think about the many struggles so many are facing, I begin to think... "Why, God?" "It's not fair..."

I was running those words through my mind the other night as I tried to fall asleep and the words that came to mind were these...
... you have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)

Oh to have a greater perspective... to recognize the fullness of just being His and the trustworthiness of Him who has me.

When you have a back up hard drive and back up software, it's a good idea to actually BACK UP your computer. Unfortunately, I've not done that in a really long time.


What makes it really unfortunate is that when I pressed the button to power up my laptop... NOTHING. I get a message saying that Windows failed to launch and while it tries to start up in "Repair" Mode... NOTHING. I get a completely black screen -- although my mouse does work.


I called the friendly Toshiba tech support guy and he thinks it's a corrupted Operating System and that I'll need to run the recovery disks.


I'm HOPING HOPING HOPING that I can bring my laptop to some computer genius who can recover all my information before running the disks and rebuilding the computer. HOPING.


It feels like this couldn't have come at a worse time. Tomorrow my mom will be admitted to the hospital for her week long treatment. I usually stay the week with her during her stays so running back and forth from the computer repair shop may get complicated.

What also stinks is that I was going to spend time this week starting to familiarize myself with a work project that I'll be doing. After taking a break from work, I was (still am) excited to finally get involved in a work project. That may be a tad difficult to do without a computer.


We'll see how this goes! URGH. I'm fighting discouragement.

When I finally decided upon a work assignment that I wanted to pursue within the Bible translation movement, I was pretty sure... this is it, this is the work I'll be doing.

But here I am hundreds of miles away from that job location, looking into other possibilities. With my mom continuing treatment, I really want to be here with my family during this time. Meaning, I have to think about, "God, what would you have me do here and now."

I'm working with my personnel administrator and the Director of Communications for Wycliffe International on a possible short term assignment -- helping coordinate a web site project. I'm looking forward to interacting with coworkers again and working together on developing something of impact. Yay!

I have some questions about the open position and we would then need to set up some expectations for my work schedule and all that. But, I'm thankful for this possibility!

I'm also excited that I may have some opportunities to share with people about Wycliffe and be part of them exploring how they might be a part of Bible translation.

Wycliffe holds a day-long event, "Explore Wycliffe," during which participants learn about Bible translation, Wycliffe and possibilities for personal involvement. I'm excited that I might be able to participate in this event being held in Philadelphia this fall!

I enjoy being able to be a part of the process of people's growing awareness of this HUGE need. I enjoy even more seeing the process of God working on the hearts He's calling to take part in meeting the need.

At different times when I was exploring ways I could be involved I had thought..."What about helping recruit for this ministry?" -- hmm... who knew that I'd get this chance to help out with that!

The past couple of months have been filled with confusion and conflict. I have had doubts. I have struggled with fear. I have wrestled with questions that seemingly still have no answers.

But... I continue to be reminded that God is in control. He has a plan. And He -- who He is ... and all His works ... are GOOD. AND, He DOES work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His name.

He has given me this precious time to be with my family. He has allowed me to see and experience Him in new ways during this time. He has met me with patience and grace.
And with Him, possibilities are endless and beyond my imagination and comprehension...