Step In

Currently Listening
Bethany Dillon: "Beautiful"
By Bethany Dillon

Work tomorrow.

Been spending the afternoon/evening "preparing" for meetings that I have this week. The time spent today has been pretty unproductive.

Had a fun/busy weekend with Ellen. We've been friends since high school - back in the day when we were in Langhorne United Methodist Church's youth group.  Fun times

This weekend we spent time at my house, went to SAK Comedy Lab, went to church, explored Downtown Disney, saw Last Holiday with Queen Latifah, rode the Disney monorail to check out a couple of resorts, rented Fever Pitch, got a pedicure and manicure... fun weekend. Hopefully it was more relaxing than it sounds - sorry if I wore you out LN! 

I'm pooped.  

It's been a great couple of months catching up with family and friends - so many of whom I've not really been able to spend much quality time with in a while. I get to see Hoberta (Amanda Hobert) in a couple of weeks - which will also be great! It has been such great fun and I hope that it's been enjoyable for others too. Feeling in need for some down time though - time to replenish... renew.

Reminds me of stuff I want to share...I'm reading a great book (thanks, Joanna!!!) titled Captivating. I've been pretty much just reading through the book - not taking much time to really process or really think about how it all applies to my life. So much of the book just instantly hits a chord and I think "Wow! I can really relate to that!" BUT that's pretty much as deep as I've gone in terms of personal application. I think I want to do another read-through marking the book up and journaling through it. But, for now, I think I've just been reading through it because I feel a connection and just want to experience THAT. Anyway... point of this... been really challenged with the idea of being a woman of BEAUTY and what that really means...

Excerpts: (Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge // "Chapter 2: What Eve Alone Can Tell" - page 38-40)

"Think of what it is like to be caught in traffic for more than an hour. Horns blaring, people shouting obscenities. Exhaust pouring in your windows, suffocating you. Then remember what it's like to come into a beautiful place, a garden or a meadow or a quiet beach. There is room for your soul. It expands. You can breathe again. You can rest. It is good. All is well. ... That is what beauty says, All shall be well.
     And this is what it's like to be with a woman at rest, a woman comfortable in her feminine beauty. She is enjoyable to be with. She is lovely. In her presence your heart stops holding its breath. You relax and believe once again that all will be well. And this is also why a woman who is striving is so disturbing, for a woman who is not at rest in her heart says to the world, 'all is not well. things are not going to turn out all right. ... We need what Beauty speaks. What it says is hard to put into words, But part of its message is that all is well. All will be well.

Beauty also invites....Beauty nourishes....Beauty comforts....Beauty inspires...

(Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge // "Chapter 8: Beauty to Unveil" - page 134)

     "A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving.
      'He will quiet you with his love' (Zeph. 3:17). A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is AT REST, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of her trust. She EXUDES a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and the pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and he is good."

Don't feel so much that I am a woman whose soul is AT REST. And I certainly don't feel like I've been able to really INVITE others to truly believe "all is well" either. That is who I want to be... for myself, for others, for His glory.

Interesting...I found this in an old notebook (from when I was 25...)

"I have never seen myself as beautiful - or even pretty for that matter. You'd think after 25 years of living I'd be comfortable and confident in "me." But, I'm realizing that inside, part of me is very much that little girl looking up (I've always been short) at everyone else -- wishing I was just a little bit different, or a lot.

I KNOW the Bible verses that remind me of the meaining of true beauty -- I know the Word that assures me of God creating me "wonderfully and fearfully." I know it, but sometimes in this world, it's hard for those truths to sink all the way in.

I see the girls I work with and there is no doubt at all that they are beautiful. With the perfect hair, perfect smiles, perfect complexion, perfect figures, perfect wardrobe -- THEY are the picture perfect ladies that cover magazines. As they walk in and out of rooms, eyes follow them - literally - and I've actually heard and seen gasps in awe of their beauty. Maybe if their personalities were flawed I'd feel some sense of "fairness" over this, but these girls aren't just pretty faces; they're smart, kind, friendly women.

I don't know. I know in my mind that my identity is not in my outward appearance. Our looks always change. Our bodies change shape and form. Who I am isn't determined by what I look like, but who God has created me to be -- who I am in Him. I do know this in my mind and in my heart -- somewhere DEEP down there. Only that it would be more deeply understood and believed. "

Interesting... 4 years later -- I still struggle with the desire to be seen as "beautiful." But, so much lately I've been challenged with thinking about who I really am, what I really give to others through my life, what I really bring before Him. I'd so much rather have the beauty the Eldredges have described... this true beauty... beauty of soul. I'd much rather exude beauty from within me (through Him) that brings comfort, assurance, peace, hope, joy and REST to others.

"Beauty also invites....Beauty nourishes....Beauty comforts....Beauty inspires..."

Yes, I still want to be SEEN as pretty - turn heads and all.  But what is that if that's all there is? RIGHT?

enough...

PS - I always intend to write SHORT entries... how they get so long, I don't know.  NEXT TIME...I promise....short entry!