Last night... 1:30 AM
I was up late... again.
Working on taxes ... again.

But this time was different.
I had finally gotten to the point where I was desperately in need of HELP.
So, I was up in the middle of the night preparing all the materials to send to a colleague in Dallas who agreed to work on my taxes.

While I was up at 1:30 AM working on tax preparation stuff, colleagues who are serving in different places around the world were gathering in Orlando, FL for the organization's tri-annual conference.

The folks in Orlando are streaming live some of the segments of the conference.
So, from Manila (at 1:30 AM!!) I got to join in on a bit of this year's conference.

One of Orlando's local pastors, Pastor Isaac Hunter, shared the first day's message.
His message was incredible. There was so much in his message that I wanted to jot down. Among the many things that really struck me, he said...

"Ask for help frequently, and WAY before you need it."
He then gave a personal (hilarious!) example of when he failed to do just that. He reflected on the incident,
"Why did I not ask for help? It's flat out pride."

So I found it ironic. There I was listening to this wise pastor (who by the way... reminds me much of his dad , my pastor at Northland -- Pastor Joel Hunter) while furiously trying to gather up documents to send to someone on the other side of the world to rush to avoid missing the already extended tax deadline.

"Ask for help FREQUENTLY, and WAY BEFORE you need it."
How do I get myself in situations like this???
"It's flat out pride."

How often do I not want to risk looking incompetent, incapable, inexperience, under-qualified, stupid...
and so I waste time and energy trying to do on my own what can be done so much more effectively and efficiently by or with someone else -- if I would just be willing to ask for the help I need.

Or how often I struggle alone, out of fear of someone else knowing that I don't have it all together.
Like that's a shocker! And so for nothing, I continue to struggle. And I continue to go through it alone.

"Ask for help frequently." "Way before you need it."

Pride -- URGH. I want to not care about my pride. I want to care so much more about my relationship with God that I could care less about what people think about me and be willing to ask for help way before I even think I need it -- to keep my relationship with Him right. I want to care so much more about serving others well and others being served well that I'm quick to ask for help -- regardless of how it makes me look.

In my relationship with God and in my relationships with others ... I don't want to look at reaching out for help as a bad thing or a last resort.

Rid me of my prideful attitude, Lord that keeps me from being willing to admit when I'm in need.

Continuing to learn ... and desiring growth and change from the learning.

There was a lot in his message that struck me. Hope to find a video or recording of it so I can listen to it again -- next time I won't be doing taxes while listening!

(Oh and yes... Mr. Taxman. Less than 24 hours and he's already done. And, he got me more than I would have if I had proceeded to file what I worked on online).

[Side Note: Every 3 years our organization has a conference bringing in delegates from around the world.

I LOVE THIS CONFERENCE!

During my time in Orlando, God used the 2 conferences I was able to sit in on (because of my role in the communications department) to inspire and motivate me to be willing to GO! - wherever He might ask me to go and to serve in whatever ways He might want me to serve.

I loved hearing the reports, I loved listening to the things that people seemed to care deeply about, I loved meeting people who are committed and care about how our organization contributes to change worldwide, I loved hearing what issues seemed to rise to the top and how people responded to it, I loved thinking about the potential ways that God would use the conversations, the worship, the people there, to initiate changes in thinking or direction of our organization. Inspiring. Motivating. Plus it was always an adrenaline-charged, team-building time for our comm crew -- running mics, operating cameras, working the switcher, pulling out long days -- sooo fun!!!

And so, a late night to watch some of the conference ... well worth it to me!]

...don't know why.

This actually happens a lot.
I'm sitting with my computer on my lap doing one thing or another.
(Tonight it's been taxes and emails).
The TV is on in the background and all of a sudden... it goes to static.
And that tells me it's waaaaay past my bedtime.

So I've been sitting here with static on the screen for probably the past hour.
Been thinking today about the people who give leadership to the organization I'm a part of and those that I serve in my work.

Wow.

When I think about many of these people I think...
incredible experiences.
impressive minds.
dedicated.
passionate.
driven.
powerful.
influential.
wise.
humble.
committed.
servant-hearted.
visionary.

And I think about all things that they frequently have to deal with...
the responsibilities.
the hard, hard decisions.
the people.
the stress.
the misunderstandings.
the never-ending demands.
the unknowns.
the temptations.

And that on top of all those things, there are their own personal struggles within and those hardships in their own lives and in the lives of those they love.

I want to be more appreciative, more affirming, more prayerful, more mindful of those people that God has chosen to serve as leaders (whether in role, position, influence, whatever...).

Happy Monday, friends.
Here's probably the most random mix of random thoughts... Hehehe!

Love it / Hate it.
My love / hate relationship with technology and social media rages on.
It frustrates me at times how incredibly dependent I am on my computer. My computer has been in the shop for the past month. I'm surviving -- mostly because I was provided a loaner laptop to use. But even still -- it's not my computer so it's unfamiliar, uncomfortable and inconvenient at times and it makes my work a little bit stunted. A sign, I think, that I'm overly dependent on technology. :)

And social media -- a few weeks ago I realized that I had a very unhealthy relationship with FB. Okay -- Addicted and too easily effected by what I was reading. You get the picture. So I've cut back. I think it's helped. But the thing I love about FB and other social media is staying connected. So I miss that. Finding the balance. Meantime -- continuing to love Skype and being able to see and talk to those I love.

Makes Me Want to Dance!
Oh how I love music that makes me want to dance.
That's all.
Love it!
Still on my list of things I want to learn.

Grateful
The past two weeks I've been working with a group of colleagues developing how they present their work to the public. I continue to be amazed at the opportunities that I get to work with incredibly passionate and wise people. To be part of a work that truly desires to see people and communities restored to wholeness is really a blessing. And I'm grateful that this truly is God's work. There's something in remembering that fact that brings a sense of peace and confidence -- even when I don't feel all that confident in myself. I feel God worked with us in the process -- grateful for the wisdom, the direction, and the inspired thinking.

Church
I miss my churches in PA and FL. I miss being a part of a church community. I miss being a part of a family of believers. I miss experiencing worship with people I know -- standing beside someone I know and singing praises together, receiving communion from a familiar face, talking with friends about what we heard in the message... living and serving together. While I still am looking for that here in Manila, I'm so thankful for Northland's online worship -- that has been SUCH a blessing.

Out of Tune
My guitar has sat in its bag for months. I pulled it out this past month to continue once again my pursuit to learn to play guitar. It's horribly out of tune. Working on tuning it...still. :)

Pizza Hut Misses Me
I'm sure Pizza Hut is missing me. It's been a long, long time since I've called them. Hehehe. Since I've been home for more than a month I've actually gone grocery shopping and have regularly prepared my own food. [GASP!] The fast food delivery industry has experienced a significant decline in their income this month.

There's Always Something
I have done a TERRIBLE job keeping my ministry partners updated on all that has happened this past month. It was a priority to get a newsletter out this past month. I haven't. I was also planning on taking one day as a personal day to get away, spend time in prayer, read. I haven't. There's always something that seems to get in the way of these two things -- that are important to me -- from happening. So, when I get back from my trip I plan to take my day-away and to get my newsletter out. REALLY.

My Love Flower
My love flower has returned!!! Walking to work one morning last week I looked down and was pleasantly surprised to see a little splash of pink. What a sweet, sweet gift!! It's not the same flower that grew there last year, but still... a beautifully, sweet expression to me of my Father's love.

Leaving...
Next week I leave for a quick trip. It's been a while since I've traveled, so I'm looking
forward to packing up and heading out. Less than a week in S. Asia -- a place I've heard much about and looking forward to seeing myself!

And... to my Wycliffe friends in Orlando... HAPPY DELEGATE'S CONFERENCE! Praying for all the energy, strength and joy as you serve all the delegates and the organization in this upcoming week. Have a great one!!!!