When you have a back up hard drive and back up software, it's a good idea to actually BACK UP your computer. Unfortunately, I've not done that in a really long time.


What makes it really unfortunate is that when I pressed the button to power up my laptop... NOTHING. I get a message saying that Windows failed to launch and while it tries to start up in "Repair" Mode... NOTHING. I get a completely black screen -- although my mouse does work.


I called the friendly Toshiba tech support guy and he thinks it's a corrupted Operating System and that I'll need to run the recovery disks.


I'm HOPING HOPING HOPING that I can bring my laptop to some computer genius who can recover all my information before running the disks and rebuilding the computer. HOPING.


It feels like this couldn't have come at a worse time. Tomorrow my mom will be admitted to the hospital for her week long treatment. I usually stay the week with her during her stays so running back and forth from the computer repair shop may get complicated.

What also stinks is that I was going to spend time this week starting to familiarize myself with a work project that I'll be doing. After taking a break from work, I was (still am) excited to finally get involved in a work project. That may be a tad difficult to do without a computer.


We'll see how this goes! URGH. I'm fighting discouragement.

When I finally decided upon a work assignment that I wanted to pursue within the Bible translation movement, I was pretty sure... this is it, this is the work I'll be doing.

But here I am hundreds of miles away from that job location, looking into other possibilities. With my mom continuing treatment, I really want to be here with my family during this time. Meaning, I have to think about, "God, what would you have me do here and now."

I'm working with my personnel administrator and the Director of Communications for Wycliffe International on a possible short term assignment -- helping coordinate a web site project. I'm looking forward to interacting with coworkers again and working together on developing something of impact. Yay!

I have some questions about the open position and we would then need to set up some expectations for my work schedule and all that. But, I'm thankful for this possibility!

I'm also excited that I may have some opportunities to share with people about Wycliffe and be part of them exploring how they might be a part of Bible translation.

Wycliffe holds a day-long event, "Explore Wycliffe," during which participants learn about Bible translation, Wycliffe and possibilities for personal involvement. I'm excited that I might be able to participate in this event being held in Philadelphia this fall!

I enjoy being able to be a part of the process of people's growing awareness of this HUGE need. I enjoy even more seeing the process of God working on the hearts He's calling to take part in meeting the need.

At different times when I was exploring ways I could be involved I had thought..."What about helping recruit for this ministry?" -- hmm... who knew that I'd get this chance to help out with that!

The past couple of months have been filled with confusion and conflict. I have had doubts. I have struggled with fear. I have wrestled with questions that seemingly still have no answers.

But... I continue to be reminded that God is in control. He has a plan. And He -- who He is ... and all His works ... are GOOD. AND, He DOES work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His name.

He has given me this precious time to be with my family. He has allowed me to see and experience Him in new ways during this time. He has met me with patience and grace.
And with Him, possibilities are endless and beyond my imagination and comprehension...

When we get home from hospital stays I have a tendency to move at a frantic pace trying to get lots of things done. Bills, laundry, dishes, email, cleaning, ... whatever. I don't know why. Maybe it's feeling like I need to accomplish a whole bunch of things ...in case we have to go back right away. Maybe it's feeling the need to "catch-up" on things I wasn't able to do while we were gone. Maybe it's because I'm a task-oriented person. (hehehe)

For whatever reason, when we got back today... I didn't feel the need. Rest. Relax. That's all I wanted to do.

After taking a quick shower and eating lunch I watched some of the bicycle race on TV. I camped out on the couch and watched Rendition and napped.

I made some pichi-pichi for a snack/dessert for us.

I plan to watch National Treasure 2 tonight and maybe do some reading.



Ok, I did do a load of laundry. Sometimes it just has to be done... especially when you're down to the last of your underwear. (heheh!)

This is a spot in our yard that I've been trying to prepare to fix up. It used to be a vegetable garden but we've had too many encounters with the local wildlife. So, we're planning to make this a flower garden.

THIS is my inspiration. This is the "Healing Garden" at Saint Mary. I've not actually been in it. I've only seen it from the upstairs or on the way to the cafeteria downstairs. I would love to create a place in our backyard that is just... serenity.

However, there's a "heat wave" here in the northeast and they say the air quality is poor -- to stay inside. So, I guess the yardwork will have to wait... okay by me! The couch, a nap and some movies wait for me! :)

Hahaha... I'll take any excuse to veg for the day :)

I saw this book at Sam's Club. I've seen this book before and had considered reading it at other times. I guess I never really wanted it enough to actually get it though.

Possibly because of where my life is right now, when I saw it on the rack, I immediately grabbed it.

"Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life"

I've been going through it slowly -- when waiting at the doctor's office with my mom, reading a chapter here and there... just nibbling at it really.

Small bites to share with you...

Discouragement can drain us of all hope, of all vision, of all our tomorrows and dreams. It certainly did that for Elijah.

But I love the tender picture of 1 Kings 19:5-7, for it hints at the
tenderness available to us in our own discouragement. Remember what happened? God sent an angel to bring food to his downhearted prophet. "Get up and eat," the angel told Elijah, "for the journey is too much for you." Then the angel stood guard as Elijah fell back asleep.

When we're distracted and discouraged, tired and overwhelmed, there is no better place to go than to our Father. He alone has what we need. Don't stand under a broom tree. Don't hide in a broom closet. Go to the Lord and let him
sweep away your discouragement.

As you do, you'll find healing for your hurting heart.

Even when it can't help but doubt.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8

I've been gradually facing the reality that my life as I've planned and expected ... isn't. And, I've been gradually realizing that it is at times disappointing and it is at times discouraging.

I want to fight the discouragement. I want to cling to hope. I want to continue to believe and trust in my Father. I want to be aware of the moments of His tenderness.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8

Some may be wondering..."What's going on with Wycliffe while you're caring for your mom?"

Well... I was given the okay at the end of March to postpone my departure for Manila and take time to focus on my family and be here to help out. I've been really grateful for the ability to do this. Her treatment was pretty intense -- caregiving took a lot of time and energy. It was really a blessing to have the freedom to focus on that and not feel pulled and divided. Having this time has been a huge blessing to me.

My mom's treatment for her leukemia will continue for a few more months still. I've asked if I can continue to stay here in Newtown through the completion of her treatment and a bit afterwards as things settle down.

Her current treatment is done differently from her initial treatment. I anticipate having more time and energy -- and I'm eager to get back to work. I'm talking with my administrator and my future boss in Manila, trying to see if I can arrange for a remote assignment during this time. I'm grateful that there's a possibility for us to work out some arrangement that would permit me to continue to be involved in ministry and be here to care for my family.

Pray that I'd be learning the lessons God has for me during this time. Pray that I'd be using this time to His glory -- accomplishing all He has for me, becoming more like Him.

So, while I've been out weeding and such there have been moments of "Hmmmm... that's an interesting thought."

I thought I'd share some of those weed-pulling thoughts with you all every once in a while...

1 - Don't be so hasty to pull and toss.

When I see something that doesn't look so pretty my tendency is - GET RID OF IT!

My mom has a whole bunch of daffodils and other bulb-type flowers in the front yard. Well, the flower part of the plants all bloomed in early spring and what's left is a droopy, droopy mess. I wanted to yank them all out or cut them all short. They don't look pretty, so what use are they in the garden? My mom quickly told me to NOT do that. The droopy mess that was left is still feeding nutrients to the bulb in the soil. So, if we want to see the pretty daffodils in bloom next spring, I can't cut them.

I think this tendency is true in my life... the messy, hard circumstances in my life or in the lives of others, I want to quickly yank them out. Get rid of the difficult. Get rid of the messy. Get rid of the things that make life less "pretty" than if could be. But how those things often provide the growth needed in our lives.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4

(For those of you curious to know what I did do... I bundled up all the stems and banded them together. They look like funny little bunches stuck in the ground. But they'll be well nourished bunches! When they dry up I'll cut them down. This was just ONE of the hundreds of bundles in our yard. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating... but just by a little!)