Packed and Somewhat Ready to Go...

Two boxes are packed and waiting by the door for my flight out tomorrow.
It took me most of this week to sort through clothes, books and other miscellaneous belongings to pack up two fifty-pound boxes to take with me on this trip. SIGH. Why do I have so much stuff? :)

Physically I think I'm ready. I have made multiple to-do-lists this week and I think I've accomplished most of them (...except for some phone calls I wanted to make). There a couple of things I hope to finish up tonight, but I think I'll manage to still get in a good night's sleep.

Mentally / emotionally ready?? I'm not so sure. This trip to the Philippines is for ONE WEEK. There is a specific purpose -- I'm attending meetings. All of that I can handle. No big deal. I'm actually quite looking forward to the meetings, seeing the people that will be attending the meetings and what we'll be doing for the WEEK.

What makes this trip MORE than just ONE WEEK is... I'm leaving BOXES of stuff there! I have two boxes packed up with most all of my clothes, books, movies and other personal belongings. I packed them up and plan to leave them there ... because I intend to return in a few months "for good." WHOA! Believe me, I know that that's been the plan... but sometimes the reality hits you and ... well, it hits you.

While I'm gone this week my mom will be going in for her routine weekly blood test. The last couple of test results showed her blood levels... while NORMAL, were slightly decreasing. If Monday's blood test shows a continued decrease, they may need to do a bone marrow biopsy to check if she is still in remission or if the leukemia has returned. It's difficult to not worry and be anxious ... "is it back?" Even as I packed my boxes I wondered..."God... what if it comes back?"

Pray for my mom's complete healing. Pray for the leukemia to continue to be in complete remission. Pray that I would constantly and continually TRUST GOD. Pray that I would recognize my inability to control life and to acknowledge not only God's control but also God's loving goodness. God has already shown HIs goodness in so many ways. He has so often displayed His power, His grace and His good works... pray that I would REST in Him.

Pray that I would be anxious for nothing, that I would be thankful, that I would be prayerful and that I would allow God's peace to guard my heart and mind in Christ.

All that makes it hard to feel SOOO READY and SOOO EXCITED about going away. Because there's always the wonder about the days ahead. Pray that I would trust Him with all my tomorrows and receive the gifts that He has for me in the present.

Pray that it would be a good trip to professionally, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually prepare me for my move.

And, pray for my mom's blood work on Monday. Pray for strong, clean, functioning bone marrow and an excellent blood work!! Mommy will celebrate her birthday on November 7th. What a gift it would be to have another great report!!