The Honeymoon...

...is over.

I had coffee with a friend a couple of weeks ago and she asked how my transition was going.
I told her that I've been sharing with people that in many ways I was very much in the "honeymoon" stage. I had visited in the Philippines for about the same amount of time in the past, I was living in a guest house where I was very much well cared for, and I was doing a lot of orientation-type work and even had some travel thrown into the mix. Everything was all new, fun, and exciting! And, I had waited for so long to finally arrive, that it was great just being in Manila!!

I was anticipating my move into my own place around the time we met so I told her... ask me after my move. I was figuring that whenever I was in my new place, having to do "real-life stuff" like grocery-shopping, laundry, taking care of bills, getting into my real work and more time had passed... the honeymoon would be over.

Well... the honeymoon is officially over. Hahaha.

It's not as bad as I make it sound.
But, real life is seeping into my experience here in Manila and I've definitely had my moments when the excitement of just being here just hasn't been the same. :)

Yesterday especially was my "I've hit the wall" day.
The whole day I found myself in a complain-ey mood and irritated about everything. Things I've been doing for the past couple of weeks all of a sudden became incredibly "inconvenient."

"Why do I have to walk to church?" "Why can't I just get in MY car and go to church?" "Why is it so hot?!" "Why do I have to choose from among a whole aisle of bottles of vinegar? I just need vinegar." "Target. Why can't there be a store like Target??"

In reality, it really isn't all that inconvenient, it's just different. It's not what I'm used to -- and I'm starting to feel the differences.

This upcoming Wednesday will be 3 weeks that I've been in my apartment. While I love it and it does already feel like home, I'm still having to get things to make it "my own." Unfortunately, the fun of shopping and dreaming of what it could be like has totally faded. I've lost steam and momentum. Taking yet another trip to the mall to load up on "stuff" and then having to wait (sometimes for an hour!) for a taxi to take me and all my "stuff" home just is not my idea of fun and exciting anymore. Can someone just do it all for me?! :)

I think it was time. There are stages of going through change that we all go through. I've gone through the time when everything is "new and exciting." And now I'm experiencing "reality" hitting me in the face.

I was encouraged today to let myself feel these very legitimate feelings.
Honesty with God.
Pray that I would go through this stage and move on from this stage -- with God's grace, and extending grace to myself.